𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋

i'll be logging off now. i have no intention of returning to this account so this is my goodbye. i love you guys and thank you for the support during my time here <3.

hi.. i know i haven't been updating or here for that matter, and i apologize. i truly am trying to finish these fics but it's genuinely very hard.
          
          i started these fics because i enjoy writing (for fun) but it's hard to do that when i no longer enjoy the media i am writing for.
          
          i don't want to discontinue a fic, i hate doing that, but i may have to. 
          
          i'm sorry.

sorry i haven't been very active everyone. i haven't published any new chapters and for that i apologize. it's kinda hard to write for a fandom you don't have interest in anymore but i really don't want to discontinue my fics especially silent but strong since it's so close to it's end.
          
          i'm trying to muster up the motivation to work on strength which is nowhere close to an ending, but it may come down to me discontinuing it. but like i said i really don't want to so i'm going to try my best not to.
          
          anyways love you guys <3

made the new acc and gonna be going by a new alias. ofc i still go by devil as well. :)
          
          working on writing but trying to get through all the health issues first

writing has been hard lately. more than the usual lack of motivation.
          
          i'm just ranting please don't mind me. i'm sorry.
          
          my health insurance is switching. stupid fucking america. i have to get better insurance and find me a new therapist and psych as well as whole new doctors soon.
          
          i've been struggling with really bad headaches (i've had them for a majority of my life but they've gotten worse). i've been trying for years to get my doctors to help me see a neurologist and only recently did a doctor finally help me. but then the neurologist (who i seen yesterday)pretty much brushed me off and blamed my medication and ibuprofen and my mental disorders/illness. does not help that i had a headache during the appointment and was disorientated the entire time so i couldn't do much arguing. i have a ct scan monday so hopefully that gives me answers. if not then i don't know what to do. i can't handle these headaches that last for weeks with hardly any moments of peace from them. (i have one as i'm typing this).
          
          (trigger warning)
          
          my mental health is shit. i've relapsed so many fucking times no matter how many times i try to get better. i've been recently diagnosed with ocd and that's shitty. these headaches sure as hell aren't helping. i've been put on new meds for ocd and hopefully that helps me with that. and my home life sure as hell ain't helping none. i can't stand my stepdad and his constant threats. my little sister and i have talked and we both don't know how long we can stand to live here. it's literally fucking killing us. my mother is still fucking controlling. i have no fucking life. i can't get a job because i have to take care of my brother. 
          
          i'm just so fucking tired. 

i have made a decision.... at like 5 in the morning. i'm gonna finish strength and silent but strong and then probably stop writing for bnha because i stopped keeping up a long time ago.
          
          i'm not too sure where i'll end strength it got lost on me somewhere but i will not be discontinuing any of my books.
           promise :)
          
          and seeing how i never even started seven i'll just unpublish that.
          
          maybe i'll get into bnha again (i have so many ocs i made when coping) but that won't happen anytime soon that's for sure.
          
          i might also switch accs like a restart because that might help me get out of my block, but that's still up for debate and i'll be sure to let you guys know if i do. and even i do decide to switch i won't until after i've finished strength and silent but strong. (i might just decide to move completely over to hxllsdarling)
          
          kay that's all <33 love you guys

happy valentines everyone!
          
          i love you take care of yourselves!

i have the strong urge delete every acc i own on evry platform. 

gender is kicking my ass and im going insane

i have so many accs. i fear this may be illegal