thank you so much for reading my story! i'm so glad it was the first one you chose. It means a lot. okay, now about you. I love the idea for the story. It's mysterious and makes me want to read more. The only thing you need to work on is make sure your grammar is correct. A couple of words are misspelled. Another thing is that during climatic points add more figurative language, such as, my heart rapidly nailed at my chest with the strength of sinister brutality. But other than that, I loved it! Great job on the mom character! Keep writing, because you're good at it!