xX_Z0MB13_Xx

For my male followers! Your dick has been in your mom longer than your dad’s

More orgasms have been caused by hands than any other part of the body 
          
          
          Another fun fact!

I find it humorous that Bethesda has been just sitting on the Elder Scrolls and Fallout ip and doing nothing only for the new Xbox ceo to basically say, “yeah… you’re no longer solely in charge of Fallout games. Obsidian! How about you bring the band back together to make us some money? Also, put Elder Scrolls ahead of any other projects it’s been almost 10 years since you announced ESVI”

The average horse ejaculate has about the same amount of calories as a burger king whopper…
          
          
          Don’t ask how I know this

My family: *makes fun of me for sticking to the same thing I eat over and over again*
          
          Me: okay… *buys something I’ve never tried before and enjoy it*
          
          My family: *makes fun of me for trying something new* 
          
          
          WTF am I supposed to do?!

Some more irl lore!
          
          I almost died 5 times in my life. First time was when I was a senior in high school. I got my tonsils removed and the doctor for sure fucked up because my whole mouth hurt. It hurt to swallow ANYTHING, even ice cream or water. I eventually developed an ear infection and a cough. Well, one Friday morning, around 4 am, I woke up with an urge to cough and gag at the same time. To save those squeamish on gory details, I had to be rushed to the ER at 5 am because I started coughing up enough blood to fill a Wendy’s cup. I was apparently very pale in the face and was the very first person to get a room. 
          
          Second and third time were because I forgot to open a vent in a camper I lived in. I started cooking spicy chicken the first time and thought “damn, I put too much spices cause I’m choking up”. I looked to my left and all I saw was a large wall of smoke. The second time that happened was with bacon instead. 
          
          Fourth time was me being a complete dumbass. I went to a nearby comic con as Michael Myers. Now, comic con where I live takes place in the MIDDLE OF SUMMER. So wearing a navy blue jumpsuit, latex mask, and having no water quickly made me want to pass out. Thankfully someone at a stand saw I was struggling and gave me a free dr. pepper. 
          
          Fifth time was the most recent seeing as I mentioned things about a brake pad. 

So some “funny” irl lore, I used to work at a Mexican restaurant and once a month on every Sunday, there’d be a group of old and middle aged people who’d rent out a party room and have a meeting of sorts. Me being the pasty white 16 yo dumbass I was waited on their tables and chatted with them. I’d get a huge tip from them as well and never really questioned why my coworkers (who weren’t pasty white) waited on them…
          
          
          Turns out it was a Klan meeting and since I treated them friendly enough (unknowingly), they gave me hella good tips. Only reason I bring this up is an old coworker texted me and asked if I was doing alright and wasn’t in the Klan. 
          
          TLDR; I served drinks, food, and nachos to the KKK unknowingly. (This was also the same restaurant where a pdo tried to get my number and groom me)

If you’re fucking a dog girl, is any position doggy style?
          
          And by a lesser extent, is getting oral from a cow girl reverse cowgirl?

If the devil went down to Georgia then that implies one of three things
          
          1. Georgia is lower than Hell
          
          2. The Devil is a yankee
          
          3. The north is Hell

I didn’t ask nor do I care how big the room is, I’m casting fireball