Mttlover55
I really liked it... I thought it was really good, C O N T I N U E pls
x_PorkSoda_x
seelnuggets
I saw your username and thought 'how can I be so blind'
AuntiaHeart
CHECK OUT MY GORILLAZ STORY :3
2DGorillazOfficial
Ill leave some comments in your book and show you how I would have written the paragraph to show you what I mean.
2DGorillazOfficial
Lets say you wanna write a scene with a few main characters.
Lets make it Murdoc and 2D talking about not liking the lyrics to a song written by a collaborator. Your goal is to make your audience feel like theyre in the room. Use sensory words. Discuss the setting, the sounds, the sights, the smells of the room, if your character just got out of bed are they dressed or in pajamas? What time is it? Whats happening? How did we get here and so on.
2DGorillazOfficial
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR STORY. Okay first why are there that many ocs? Is this an original story or a fanfiction??? Focus on Gorillaz more. Also I like what you got going on here but all I needed to read were was the sassies chapter and said "Yup its one of those fics," just the name alone was a giveaway that this needed more effort. The sassies? Are you eight??? Anyways the love of drums and the fact that shes a rap queen makes me think "Shes gonna bang Russell. Oh ya definitely gonna bang russell..." Also Murtisha? MURTISHA?! What kind of ghetto ass female Murdoc name is that? Is Murdoc a drag queen now??
Ari: You also tend to write in a script form. I figured you would cause of the name. Im sorry but that takes away from the experience. You need to really write out a story. Ill provide examples...
2DGorillazOfficial
Verse 1: 2-D]
If I could take her down and run, then I'd call her
Cause she's standing drama, she knows I'll call her
She's getting on the sun and that she ordered
Imagine me, imagine me now
I don't take her number, just don't think I'd call her
I take a damn [?] dreading all day
I clear my system, I don't need no other
This is my persona, secret lover (she's my collar)
Nothing to be justified in
Just one thing, you should feel nada
I know she lies, I know she's my caller
I sense her in my mind, she's my collar
[Verse 2: 2-D]
She's my serpentine, she's my collar
I send a message never call her
And now I wanna taste another
And it's safe in a persona, she's my collar
Nothing to be justified yet
She's the first I'm running with
She's the one that gets my collar
She's the one I'm running with
[Hook: 2-D]
She's the one I'm running with
She's the one I'm running with
She's the one I'm running with
She's my collar
[Verse 3: Kali Uchis]
I'm yellow, he was blue
It's nothing that he could hide
We made agreement though
Whenever we were so alive
I died a thousand times
I did what I had to do
Hey, that's just how it goes
I'm still coming back to you
[Verse 1: 2-D + (Kali Uchis)]
If I could take her down and run, then I'd call her
(You, you, you)
Cause she's standing drama, she knows I'll call her
(You, you, you, you)
She's getting on the sun and that she ordered
Imagine me, imagine me now (she's my collar)
I don't take her number just don't think I'd call her
(You, you, you)
I take a damn [?]
(You, you, you, you)
I clear my system, I don't need no other
(You, you, you)
This is my persona, secret lover (she's my collar)
[Hook: 2-D]
She's the one I'm running with
She's the one I'm running with
She's the one I'm running with
She's my collar
Oh
She's my collar
vampologyy
HoNk :o)
Dragon_Queen88
WHAT UP MY LESBIAN FRIEND
JOIN ME IN THE GAY RAINBOW DIMENSION
2DGorillazOfficial
*captures you*
2DGorillazOfficial
Ganon tried thinking of a flirty pick up line to give her. "I wouldve gotten you fruit but I figured you were too sweet already,"
2DGorillazOfficial
People care. I sent them here. Don't do this to me. To us. We love you.
hello_kinky_23
Hello,
A friend of mine said you were depressed? I was wondering of I could help. It might only narrow down to cold comfort, but it's worth the effort.
grqcefull
Is everything okay? I was told by a friend that you were going through some depression. If you maybe want to talk about it, even though you don't know me, I'm here to help.