ximena

Happy Valentine's Day to y'all ❤️

Pink or Pink? Yes 

A handsome man entered a hotel and asked to see the boss who then gave him a room.
          
          Before heading to the room, the client requested a black knife, 39 cm of white thread, and an orange weighing 73g. The boss was surprised but agreed.
          
          Later that night, the boss heard strange noises from room 39: wild animal sounds and objects being thrown. He couldn't sleep, wondering about the source. In the morning, he checked the room, finding everything normal—nothing unusual, even the knife, thread, and orange.
          
          The client paid the bill, tipped the bellboys, and left smiling. 
          
          A year later, the client returned, asking for the same room and items. This time, the boss stayed up, hearing even louder noises, but the client again paid his bill and tipped generously.
          
          The boss, still puzzled, spent months researching the meaning behind the client's requests, but found no answers. Then, the client returned in March, asking for the same things again. That night, the boss heard louder noises once more.
          
          In the morning, the boss asked the client for the secret behind the noises.
          
          - "If I tell you, will you promise not to reveal it to anyone?"  
          - "I promise."  
          - "Swear?"  
          - "I swear."
          
          Finally, the client shared the secret with the boss. Unfortunately, the boss is too sincere to reveal it. When he does, I’ll let you know. Thank you for reading.

A woman is having a funeral for her husband when a strange man walks in and sits up front. Towards the end of the ceremony he turns to the wife and asks, “would you mind if I got up and said a word?” She tells him “by all means,” and he stands up and says “Plethora” and sits back down.
          
          The wife turns to him and says, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
          
          ***
          
          The man then looks at the wife and continues, "I'd like to add a word, if that's ok?" She says, "of course, that's fine," and he stands up, once again, only to say "Bargain", and sit back down.
          
          The wife wipes away a tear, touches him gently on the shoulder and says "That meant a great deal."
          
          ***
          
          A man comes over to the wife later and tells her "Earth."
          
          She says "Thank you; that means the world to me."
          
          ***
          
          A local realtor asks her if he can say a few words. She agrees, and when his turn comes he says "acreage for sale."
          
          Add he passes her walking to his seat, she looks at him and says "Thank you. That also means a lot to me."
          

Two guys are robbing a liquor store, and as they are clearing the shelves the first guy goes: "is this whiskey?"
          
          The second guy replies: "Sure, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank!"

A pervert is reading this

Balls

I love how depsite being a book app, 99.9% of user announcements are random af ❤️

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide...

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
          
          I was about to run and tell my boyfriend, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden…