Xim

Balls

I love how depsite being a book app, 99.9% of user announcements are random af ❤️

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide...

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
          
          I was about to run and tell my boyfriend, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden…

Someone is still telling jokes they learned from you. Someone is still using the phrases and words you used. Someone is still listening to the music you've showed them. Someone still smiles when they remember a moment with you. Someone is still encouraged by the advice you gave them. Someone admires you from afar and is inspired by you. Someone learned how to love from you.

I'm so ready for squid game season 2. Hopefully it's good. Fingers crossed 
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/292809363

A police officer pulls over a semi truck. He gets the usual license and registration, but hears strange noises coming from the trailer, so he decides to investigate. Inside, he finds 50 penguins.
          
          “Sir, why do you have 50 penguins in your truck?” The officer asks the driver
          
          “Well, they’re my friends, and we like to go on journeys together in my truck” the man replies
          
          “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t just own 50 penguins. I’m afraid you’re going to have to take them to the zoo”
          
          The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same cop pulls the truck over again, and once again hears strange noises in the trailer. He goes to check and finds the same 50 penguins.
          
          “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday!” The cop angrily tells the driver
          
          “I did take them to the zoo! They loved it! Today we’re going to the beach”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve food here".

A pregnant woman goes into a coma moments after she gives birth to twins, one boy and one girl. When she awakens, several days later, she cries out frantically to see her children. The doctors come to her, and the first thing she asks is "How are my children?" "Fine" says the doctor, your brother named them. She thinks to herself, Oh no, my brother's an idiot. "What did he name them?" she asks the doctor. "He named the girl Denise" said the doctor. Well, maybe I misjudged my brother, Denise isn't such a bad name, she realizes. "What did he name the boy?" Replies the doctor "Denephew."

What did the elephant ask a man?
          
          "How do you breathe through that thing?"