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i hope everyone is surviving after joel left the band yay :) LETS TALK ABOUT IT CAUSE I HAVENT BEEN OKAY :)
          it's been 4 days and i'm still heartbroken, although i can understand why he left but this is my go to band in whatever i do every day and i have the right to be sad. cool? cool!!
          i love this fuckin finn so much and i hope he can find happiness in whatever he decides to do next in his life. unfortunately i still love blind channel (AND JOEL) deeply and i'll continue being a fan. 
          unfortunately i haven't written any new chapters for one hundred sleepless nights for a month now and even if i post the ones i've written, i don't have any motivation to finish it, so i'm gonna end it here. chapter 8. i'm als not very proudof my ideas and writting so... very ironic how joel's been having sleepless nights for a while now but i swear it wasn't my fault! maybe it's a good thing this is the end of the story because good things are yet to come. hopefully our guy can sleep, of course.
          i'm so so sorry to whoever was interested about reading it but i'm a human and my mind with my emotions are all over the place atm. i'm not a good writer too so go read something much better please.
          
          i don't know when or if i'm gonna make a new story but if i do, you'll know it babes. thanks for reading x
          
          take care of yourselves and always be kind <3
          
          "is this the end?
          or is everything just about to begin?
          i know we will neve be the same... again"
          
          one last time... again - blind channel

“i have a million different kinds of fun
          when i'm asleep and in a dream that i'm your only one
          can we create something beautiful and destroy it?
          nobody knows i dream about it, this is my imagination”
          
          disasterology - pierce the veil
          
          this part is so alex coded (OHSN) 

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the heat is killing me!!! but i'm trying to get back to the alex & joel story i'm writing atm and iced coffee is saving me ❤️‍ i hope everyone's having a good summer, don't melt out there haha

MIW PLAYED RHEA RIPLEYS ENTRY SONG AT WRESTLEMANIA LIKE???
          CHRIS AND RHEA DID THE STOMP TOGETHER?
          HE HAD AN EYEBROW SLIT AND MAMI ON HIS TSHIRT?
          IM SO SO PROUD OF MY FAVORITE BAND AND RHEA FOR RETAINING HER WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION TITLE ‼️
          HER TEENAGER SELF MUST BE SO PROUD I MEAN SHE WAS SINGING THE SONG MIW MADE FOR HER IN FRONT OF CHRIS AND HE HYPED HER UP FOR HER BIGGEST MATCH YET!!
          
          (yes im still obsessed with her. no, i don't think it'll ever stop. yes, chris and rhea look like twins who got seperated at birth)

im moving in 5 days!!!
          - hell is over
          - i need to unpack all of my stuff... PATIENCE i'll need
          - be that person with led lights on her ceiling (i cannot speak of how well this is gonna go)

i met a transphobic piece of shit on twitter and the funny thing is (also really sad) that he was gay. that's for the eurovision fans but i tweeted something about how happy i was that nemo from switzerland is in 4th place in the odds (odds don't matter but it was nice seeing them so high) and he commented "he" was in 3rd place because their passport said so??? i didn't pay attention to it but how does he know what their passport says? it's like you're deciding what gender someone is out of what's in their pants. not a very nice thing to say, but i had to empathize my point.
          i hope he falls in love with a trans man and gets his little heart broken by him cheating <3
          
          i will defend trans rights until i die. this is a safe place for every trans, queer, black and every other type of person. i respect everybody. if the world is against us for speaking about our rights, we throw glitter on them and dance to gay songs!!
          
          peace and love, mar 
          
          ‍️‍⚧️️‍

i can't believe these 2 last weeks are the last ones i'll spend in this house. but like… BYE BITCHHH

writer's block is driving me insane
          + i'm watching wwe just for rhea ripley

hoping here to say i really appreciate whoever is reading my books and i just want them to feel a bit less alone <3 'scars' is the darkest book i wrote and probably ever will. i was in such a dark space and it helped me get through my struggles because it kept me going. i wouldn't go back though. because storm and johnnie went through hell and back in 'scars', i don't intend to make anyone want to hurt themselves in any way. that's not my point and i wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy. i know my books are silly and i ain't the best writer but if i make 1 person feel the tiniest bit better, like this book (scars) has made them realize they're not the only one feeling this shit, i'm happy with myself. you are not alone and i mean this. a lot of us are struggling and it's always best to talk about it. if not, something i do is listen to music or eat my comfort food. mental illness is real but the voices in our heads are not. everyone deserves love and acceptance for who they are. your scars, outside and/or inside are real and you shouldn't be ashamed of them. you should and can reach out if you need to. if someone doesn't like them, that's on them. this is a safe space and i don't care if it's 3pm or 3am, my dms are open, so use it like you're writing on your notes because i'm here to listen. i'm not judging anyone (except myself ) and everyone is welcome here. i'm just 20 so don't be scared to reach out <3 sorry if this note is long AF but thank you for reading <333