xxttll26

hi guysss i might not be online for like 2 months unless i use wp on my phone :P so i guess this is a little goodbye!! i love allll of you guys smmmmm

uhhhh so basically A is moving all the way to africa and idk if i should be happy but im lowk sad like damn

A and i are no longer friends. i don't have a best friend anymore and i think this is lowk the loneliest i've been all year. 
          
          we have 1 big friend group but its kind of split into duos and trios, and A and i were a duo. now that we aren't talking, i've been doing everything by myself and i genuinely felt like crying the whole day.

ohh my dayyssss broooo im so done
          basically there is this one group of grade 13 girls who are beefing and my cousin is in that friend group right. so one of the main girls we'll call her K. K goes to my friends older sister and asks her for advice my friend we'll call her A so basically aA was there and she was listening in on the convo and basically K was lying alot but A told me what she heard and K was basically talking crap about this other girl and ive known that other girl for a rlly long time right so i did NOT take that and i stood up for her obvi. basically A also told my older sister and my older sister obviously told my cousin duh and than that helped them in finding out more stuff about K. so then K goes on to bock everyone who is related to my cousin and her friends, even going as far as to unadd their younger sisters on roblox?? but what im rlly mad abt is that today, on monday, A ignored me the whole day. like our friendgroup could be standing in a circle and the second i come she walks away. so that pissed me off so i asked her, "are you mad at me?" and she says "i havent decided that yet" like wtf?? wdym you havent decided that yet? so then i got rlly mad and i ignored her back and i sent her this message on tiktok: "Hi A! I just wanted to say that, even if you haven’t decided if you’re mad at me or not yet I don’t actually care because you have no reason to be mad at me and if you do then you should grow up and tell me, because this lowkey isn’t our business in the first place. The drama that is happening between the senior girls is not our place to intervene in and you have no reason to be mad at me or ignoring me so you should tell me why you’re mad because I value our friendship and I don’t want to end, especially because it’s almost the end of the year and fighting at the end of the year is very childish. Thank you." to which she left me on delivered but she was clearly online. and the thing is, she was so kind on friday im so done w her bs wtf

lmao i was thinking and i remembered when heeseung left and there were rumours going around that 3 engenes allegedly killed themselves over it and i realized that that probably wasn't true because who tf would kts over someone leaving a group to pursue solo music

what the8 did a while ago was SO fucked up. especially as a muslim, i felt really angry also because neither the company, or minghao himself released and apology or even a statement about it. and now i'm seeing that he's suddenly doing all of these DCs with other groups and there are people in the comments saying "poor hao, he must feel so sad seeing all of these hate comments." like if 'he's so sad' then he should say something about what he did to clear the air. as a die-hard carat, i'm so disappointed and frustrated at hao right now that i don't even know what to think, but one thing i know for sure is that i will NOT be supporting the8 in any upcoming activities until something is said and done about his actions. 
          
          sorry i feel like i just really nedded to get that off of my chest because it was eating into me.

OH YEAH IDK IF I ALREADY SAID THIS, BUT I FOUND MY WALLET!! IM NOT BROKE NO MOREEEEEEE

oh yeah your girl got sent to principal's office for the first time ever on monday. here's what had happened:
          we had just had p.e. and we had done our 12 minute run, after when we were about to head back i asked my gym teacher (shes the homeroom teacher for the other class but the girls go to her for gym and my homeroom teacher teaches the boys for gym class) anyways i asked the teacher if i could go to the bathroom, and she said yes. so off i went on my merry little way and suddenly i see two of my classmates there and i was walking rather slowly because my legs hurt and i had to go up all of the stairs and it took a while. once we made it i was trying to fix my bun but it kept on coming out too big so i had to keep on redoing it. after that 1/2 of my classmates left so it was just my friend and i. as we were walking back the girl who left before us ran out and said that we were in trouble. i kinda didnt believe her so we just kept on walking and we reached the door of our classroom. i knocked and there was no answer, so i knocked again and suddenly the big heavy metal door swung open so hard that it almost hit my face really hard. my homeroom teacher looks at us and says "go to the office all of you" i go "why????" she says "you spent 25 minutes in the bathroom" im like ykw i dont even care wtv lets just go. we go to the office and theres already some girl in there idk why so the principal takes us to a different room and shes like "you guys cant do this if you do this again next time you wont be allowed to use the bathroom" wtv wtv. we come back and i was rlly mad with my teacher because it wasnt even 25 minutes, we had literally finished p.e. late so we came in late. but then after i kinda calmed down and then i was talking to the teacher and my friend told her about how she almost hit my face with the door and she was like "if that had happened, then it would have been an accident" like no wayyyy sherlock anyways thats my first time getting sent to the office

having friends who are less heavy than you is so mentally drain because what do you mean we have almost the exact same build, sway two inches in height, but she's 43 kg and i'm 59?? like its so embarrassing because we look the same but i was SO much more than her. and its not only one friend, we're all 13-14 and tell me why two of my friends are 38 and 39 kg like wth. everyone is under 47 kg, they're all 42-45 meanwhile i was that weight in sixth grade. it makes me feel so fat especially the part where we have the same body type, but i weigh 16 more kg. like whenever i'm asked how much i weigh, i always say i'm 47 kg when i'm like 10 kg more than that, and to make matters worse, how did i gain two kg in two days?? i went from 57 kg to 59 all of a sudden. i want to lose at least 4 kg before summer so best believe imma diet. anyways i really needed to get that out of my system because its been eating me alive.

am i even apart of this fucking friend group wtf why are they leaving me out at any chance they get, shoot me omd