yaMStar_28

kuletan with him until 1am...

i just can't hold my tears... I shouldn't asked him... I know I have no right to be jealous, cause I'm just a friend, but still I'm just a person who fall in love with a friend... I never knew that this was too painful... should I tell him... But what would be the outcome if I tell him... darn it... this stupid thing called love is killing me...

is this really a love..? he's the reason why I smile and also made me cry for not so important reason... I wonder when will this last..? Its been 2 yrs and 7 mos since we start txting, until now... Yeah, only text is our communication, and for 2 yrs and 7 mos we've not see each other... I wonder when would we see each other, and what will happen then, is our closeness through cellphone would be the same..? Am I be one of his Friend in front of our High School mate..? Would he even take glance at me, when SHE is with us... or he'll take chance to get HER, when he come back..?

at first, i know that my intention is to make him forget all the pain and make him happy... but now, its different, yes I wanted him to be happy, but I want to be the reason of his happiness... And now it hurts me, cause m not THE ONE he need... Im not the one who could make him happy...

crying over someone I never had... he's telling me that he's so much in pain, because of her... Now what should I do..? Every encouragement I tell him, will only hurt me... I don't have the right to be hurt, because at the first place, he's not mine and I know before I decided to stay beside him he already love someone else...

moon = m(,"(",)n
          i look up to the sky, and i see the m(,"(",)n smiling... I texted him to look at m(,"(",)n, and he replied that he supposed to say that too, but I just text him first... funny that we're both looking at the m(,"(",)n... I wonder what does he think... 'cause me, when I see that moon, I wonder when would  I saw again his smile... Even though I'm not the reason for it...

yeah its my name, but Im not happy when he call me by my name 'cause i prefer that he call me by our call sign...

he made me feel special... but i don't know what is his true feelings... 'cause i think the way he treat me now, is also the same in our classmate in high school...