yangdks

...i cried ....i swear i cried when i read it...oh god you're everything..
          my sweet baby soul of my soul ...

Also..do I really have a humiliation kink?  I always find my mind running to your memories, missing the way I hugged you like you were the only one in my life that mattered..kissing your neck gently because you loved my kisses, and you made sure to tell me that almost every day. 
          I hate the way you ghost me, be all moody, cold, distant, like you’re forced to text me back..I want you attached, not unattached. I need you like the air I breathe but I will never say that (probably will in under 2 minutes of your overly sweet sickening talk) but what’s the point of yearning for a version of you that I know it won’t come back? 
          
          I still remember when we had that argument
          —refuse calling it a fight— your words made me feel so shitty, your reactions made me feel worthless and so fucking stupid…I couldn’t sleep that day, I couldn’t cry when I desperately needed to..I was tossing and turning, restless. And I’m pretty sure you slept like a fucking baby that day. And I know I should’ve stood my ground and continued to sulk..I came back to you like a dog on the fucking floor waiting for a tasteless bone. Acting like that day didn’t exist. 
          
          

Was I always that depressed? 
          I can’t think about any positive and happy memory but I can name thousands of bad ones. 
          
          Was my brain damaged from the start?
          Or did I ruin the way I’m wired by being like this..
          
          Do I have deep sensible feelings? 
          Because I barely feel anything. I always wished and prayed to be numb but when my prayer was heard…can I take it back?—it’s mostly because of the trauma my mom boiled me in but still..I wished to be numb so I wouldn’t feel all that. 
          
          It’s so fucking humiliating when I need her love and affection..but when I receive it, it feels so wrong and uncomfortable. I run away from it but always find a way and come back crawling while tears streaming down my cheeks. Begging for attention, when I promised myself not to do that. 
          

@wtfreo يمه من انت؟

— نفضلّ قرأتكمّ لاخر صفحاتنا. ♡
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/413049592?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=-IDYIL

شوف انت!!

كان عبالي ان انقرضتو من البرنامج ولا اشوف ٢٠٢٦

يخي مقدر اسولف برمضان. 

Fuck , I miss you gurly

انا بحياتي ما بعتك صدقني انت دائما رقم واحد