yangdks

this message may be offensive 
Also..do I really have a humiliation kink?  I always find my mind running to your memories, missing the way I hugged you like you were the only one in my life that mattered..kissing your neck gently because you loved my kisses, and you made sure to tell me that almost every day. 
          	I hate the way you ghost me, be all moody, cold, distant, like you’re forced to text me back..I want you attached, not unattached. I need you like the air I breathe but I will never say that (probably will in under 2 minutes of your overly sweet sickening talk) but what’s the point of yearning for a version of you that I know it won’t come back? 
          	
          	I still remember when we had that argument
          	—refuse calling it a fight— your words made me feel so shitty, your reactions made me feel worthless and so fucking stupid…I couldn’t sleep that day, I couldn’t cry when I desperately needed to..I was tossing and turning, restless. And I’m pretty sure you slept like a fucking baby that day. And I know I should’ve stood my ground and continued to sulk..I came back to you like a dog on the fucking floor waiting for a tasteless bone. Acting like that day didn’t exist.

chaoticnp

@yangdks 
          	  
          	  طيب مامي
          	   خلص هيني ناديتك انا مامي بلز روقي لأن اول اشي اشتقتلك تاني اشي I don't like it seeing you like this
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
I can list everything I miss about you..I can list all the stuff I liked when being with you, I can really see and feel myself be better. I’m in my best versions of me when I’m near you..I don’t know why you’re treating me like a tissue, needing me when you want me, use me when you feel like it and when you feel full you throw me out. I don’t like it. I want you to need me all the time, be all anxious if I’m not replying, worry about me all the time and wonder what I’m doing when I’m not with you/texting you. Why can’t you be like me when I’m with you!? Why can’t you behave like me when I’m with you? And yet I still find myself to enable it and let it be because I love you and willing to be treated like that.  At least I have you by my side and I don’t ever wanna lose you and yes I’m going through thousands of emotions because I’m a fucking loser.
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
Every memory with you makes me wanna rip my hairs out. And knowing I won’t be existing in the same space as yours is KILLING ME. What do you fucking mean you’re enrolling in another fucking collage!? Enroll in mine you fucking bitch. I don’t want to go there without you even though I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t sit next to me. But at least I’m in the same space as you, I can see you and hear you. I can follow you around when you go out and admire you. Why won’t you fucking be there and leave me alone to suffer?
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IU-moon

...i cried ....i swear i cried when i read it...oh god you're everything..
          my sweet baby soul of my soul ...

yangdks

@IU-moon you know I’m all ears for you, I’ll always be here to listen and support you no matter what
• Reply

yangdks

@IU-moon my babyyyy :( your tears are so precious don’t waste them on me or anyone!
• Reply

IU-moon

ولاقيت كلامك  صحت صياح لا متناهي
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
Also..do I really have a humiliation kink?  I always find my mind running to your memories, missing the way I hugged you like you were the only one in my life that mattered..kissing your neck gently because you loved my kisses, and you made sure to tell me that almost every day. 
          I hate the way you ghost me, be all moody, cold, distant, like you’re forced to text me back..I want you attached, not unattached. I need you like the air I breathe but I will never say that (probably will in under 2 minutes of your overly sweet sickening talk) but what’s the point of yearning for a version of you that I know it won’t come back? 
          
          I still remember when we had that argument
          —refuse calling it a fight— your words made me feel so shitty, your reactions made me feel worthless and so fucking stupid…I couldn’t sleep that day, I couldn’t cry when I desperately needed to..I was tossing and turning, restless. And I’m pretty sure you slept like a fucking baby that day. And I know I should’ve stood my ground and continued to sulk..I came back to you like a dog on the fucking floor waiting for a tasteless bone. Acting like that day didn’t exist.

chaoticnp

@yangdks 
            
            طيب مامي
             خلص هيني ناديتك انا مامي بلز روقي لأن اول اشي اشتقتلك تاني اشي I don't like it seeing you like this
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
I can list everything I miss about you..I can list all the stuff I liked when being with you, I can really see and feel myself be better. I’m in my best versions of me when I’m near you..I don’t know why you’re treating me like a tissue, needing me when you want me, use me when you feel like it and when you feel full you throw me out. I don’t like it. I want you to need me all the time, be all anxious if I’m not replying, worry about me all the time and wonder what I’m doing when I’m not with you/texting you. Why can’t you be like me when I’m with you!? Why can’t you behave like me when I’m with you? And yet I still find myself to enable it and let it be because I love you and willing to be treated like that.  At least I have you by my side and I don’t ever wanna lose you and yes I’m going through thousands of emotions because I’m a fucking loser.
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
Every memory with you makes me wanna rip my hairs out. And knowing I won’t be existing in the same space as yours is KILLING ME. What do you fucking mean you’re enrolling in another fucking collage!? Enroll in mine you fucking bitch. I don’t want to go there without you even though I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t sit next to me. But at least I’m in the same space as you, I can see you and hear you. I can follow you around when you go out and admire you. Why won’t you fucking be there and leave me alone to suffer?
• Reply

yangdks

this message may be offensive 
Was I always that depressed? 
          I can’t think about any positive and happy memory but I can name thousands of bad ones. 
          
          Was my brain damaged from the start?
          Or did I ruin the way I’m wired by being like this..
          
          Do I have deep sensible feelings? 
          Because I barely feel anything. I always wished and prayed to be numb but when my prayer was heard…can I take it back?—it’s mostly because of the trauma my mom boiled me in but still..I wished to be numb so I wouldn’t feel all that. 
          
          It’s so fucking humiliating when I need her love and affection..but when I receive it, it feels so wrong and uncomfortable. I run away from it but always find a way and come back crawling while tears streaming down my cheeks. Begging for attention, when I promised myself not to do that.

IU-moon

شوف انت!!

yangdks

@IU-moon ولك مين عم يراسلني!؟؟ ماصدق احس
            اشتقت لك بعد
            برجع برجع
• Reply

IU-moon

ثانيا blossom رجعت  لازم ترجع
            (I won't be there )
• Reply

IU-moon

اولا ٫ اشتقت
• Reply