Yapado

Thanks for being nice and encouraging I am just in my double digits, grammar is my downfall in School . I appreciate you give me some advice and what I should work on thanks

Well, I can’t help but notice how your writing style actually improves as you get to the third chapter. That’s a good thing. But with all due respect, your spelling and grammar needs work to really make it easier to read and understand. 
            
            I mean this as nicely as possible, but is English your primary language? Because I know that can be a major reason, if not. 

Thanks for looking at my story. What advice do you think you could give me?