this message may be offensive
I feel like ass rn. Everything is just so shit right now and nobody I'm friends with knows. It's like they all think I'm sunshines and rainbow but I'm really not I just am good at masking. Things have been especially difficult right now because once I'd finally started gaining the courage to tell this girl who thinks we're friends, that I don't want to be friends with her. Yet then she came up to me a few days ago telling me that she's relapsed with her self harm and that just ruined all my progress. I'm trying to be supportive and everything since I know how it feels but it's really fucking hard because I'm just pouring from an empty cup. Plus even when I try and say I'm struggling nothing works cause all my friends at school just think I'm joking or go real and laugh. Honestly it just feels like everyone that I'm meant to be "friends" with I'm just not. I'm the one that gets left out in the trio, my friend group were all friends before I was friends with them and pretty much nobody in my grade actually likes me. Then when I talk about how if I fail on my report card then I'm getting moved to a different school my friend, who's in the duo of our trio, is like I only have like two friends when he has so many more than that. Plus all the time he's like "I have no friends" or "I need more friends" so I just feel so unappreciated. Especially since he's always complaining how he has to comfort people and that yet I'm always the one he complains to when things happen that he doesn't like. I'm honestly fucking done with people bro, this past like two weeks is the closest I've gotten to writing my notes man. The only reasons I'm still going is the people on Wattpad and my best friend. But I honestly don't know how much longer I can hold on.
