Hi, I'm telling you this with all truth in my heart
Twin mates is an amazing story and I think u have great talent...The thing is, it is noticed that you were running when u did this story, and I hate to see so much potential in a story go to waste. This could be such an amazing story. My advice to you as a writer and as a reader is that you start again and make it better. Not explain things like it is and essay, be more specific in the dialogue, don't develope the story too fast. I wish you success, you re an amazing writer!