yeslaan

'thank you for the tragedy, i need it for my art.' k.c.

yeslaan

i loathe the way you’ve succeeded in gracefully attacking my soul with the same hands that once held my heart. 
          
          i loathe the way you’ve taken everything i once found pleasant about myself and made me give up on it.
          
          i loathe the way you’ve let me down so gently i still wake up today wondering where you are. 
          
          i loathe the way you’ve made me think i loved you when all you did was shape yourself into someone i saw myself grow old with.
          
          i loathe the way you broke my heart in such way it made me doubt my character.
          
          i loathe the way you speak of me as though we’ve never been, whilst i am sat on the ground picking up the splinters of my shattered heart.
          
          i loathe the way that even after all you’ve done to make me feel lesser than,
          
          i’d never give up on you,
          i’d never wish hurt upon you,
          i’d never want you to fail,
          i’d never talk bad about you,
          
          
          i’d never want you to meet anyone like me.
          
          for i am the one that you claim ruined us,
          but speak of as though i was a one time thing.
          
          or whatever. f that dude.

yeslaan

on november of ‘twenty four, our two year mark had passed. 
                      his love for me followed.
          
          on march of ‘twenty five, something unexpected happened.
                       me opening my eyes happened.
          
          what i wrote has always been -my- truth,
                      it was never actually there.
          
          my heart was molded to love one before,
                  whilst not knowing what it entailed.
          
          on may of ‘twenty five, it opened up again.
                 he adores me, listens, dreams with me.
          
          he grounds me, even when i’m clueless to needing it. 
          
          
          for the first time, even though my love has always been big. i feel it back.
          
          i had no idea of what drowning in love meant.
          
          but now that i do,
                  i wouldn’t want it any other way.
                  i wouldn’t want anybody else.
          
          i am drowning and basking in love.
          
          and for the first time,
                   it does not feel forced.
          
          i feel like me,
            because of him.
          
          i love him.
            eternally.
          
          and he has adhd so that’s also fun !

yeslaan

never knew it was possible to get a crush on my boyfriend..
                  i hope we are forever.
          
          if not,,
             these posts & stories will live on in
             memories of what could have been.
          
          if so,,
             these posts & stories will live on in 
             continuation of our love.
          
          and in all hope,,
                   let these be the writings i will use to put 
                   my love into words,
                   my life into speech
               & my vows into our forever.
          
          if that makes any sense.. lol !