yippingyapperss

hey <3
          
          so idk if people actually know this, but im cupio. it comes under the aromantic umbrella, look it up if you want. the flag is super pretty. 
          but basically people who are cupio feel little to no romantic attraction (theres a lot more to it than that but im lazy and dont want to explain it) and ive only ever properly liked someone like two or three times in my entire life.
          and, finding sm i actually like is the best fucking feeling like i thought id never feel this but i do and omg itd literally the best
          
          sorry i just wanted to like write it down lol bc writing things down helps my like process what and how i feel if that makes sense xx

the worst feeling is realising how you will never be your first priority's first priority

no bc id literally give my entire heart and soul to someone if it meant i could be their first choice- the person they come to for comfort, the shoulder they cry on, they person who knows your secrets and you trust with everything you have. and i want someone to feel that way about me. I want to fall in love and get butterflies and think of that special someone and smile but thats never going to happen. I'm never going to fall in love and that is  the most unfair thing. it's all i want in life is to love, and be loved in return. i want my own fairytale. But hey, doesn't everyone?
          The thing is though, almost everyone can fall in love, They may not want to, but they can. And the fact that there are people who can feel that love, that lust, those emotions for somebody and not want it makes me so angry. Not at them, because they can do what they want. I'm just angry at the world, because why can't I have that? they have everything i could possibly want in the world, these people. and yet, they don't want it. 
          
          And, nobody wants to love someone who cant love them back.

Hi, 
          I'm having a really difficult time with my mental health right now so if anyone has any advice or anything, I would really appreciate it. If you see this, would you mind just taking a few seconds to comment something you enjoy, because I'm looking really hard for a reason to stay and not finding any. 
          What's your favourite inspirational quote? I'll tell you mine- 'Only in the darkness can you see the stars.' I'm not sure what or who it's from, though. I also like 'An arrow has to be pulled backwards before it can fly.' Again though, I'm not sure where it's from.
          And, while I'm here, please remember how much people love and appreciate you. I know it seems kinda ironic when I am struggling to nd here I am telling you to, but please. I'm always, always here if you want to talk, or vent, or you need advice, or you wanna get something off your chest. I won't even reply if you don't want me to, if you just want to be able to write stuff down and not worry about being judged. Please, though, I'm begging you, remember you are not alone. Remember the countless people who care about you, even if you don't know it. You will have made such an amazing impact on so many people's lives by merely just existing, and being there. So remember, it's okay to be selfish sometimes. This world needs you, you are so important. I love you so, so much, even if I don't know you personally. I love you. And, you should love you, too. Xx