hoşt

don't nobody wanna pray
          till they got something to pray for

everybody's gon' die
          don't everybody live though

i woke up in the morning from the wrong side of bed
          and I wish that I had stayed asleep and I wish that I was dead
          but I try my best to suffocate the pain that I'm feeling in my chest
          i'm depressed and stressed out I need some rest
          
          i don't wanna be alive right now It's a waste of time and
          i got demons deep inside my mind and I am sick and tired
          and I can't hear my own thoughts
          i know that It's my own fault
          fading away from the family photos
          oh no, I'm a no one
          
          i just wanna fade away
          i just wanna die today
          erase me from your memories
          that way you won't remember me
          
          so I hide my pain with a smile
          i could'nt be happy even if I tried
          you think that I'm fine, It's a disguise
          reality is that I'm crying inside
          i don't wanna do this anymore
          
          i'm laying on the bathroom floor
          it's freezing and my back is sore
          i'm waiting for the reaper to come
          creeping through the bathroom door
          i don't wanna do this anymore
          no, I don't wanna do this anymore
          
          

you look pretty good down here
          but you ain't really god 

my hands, they're strong
          but my knees were far too weak
          to stand in your arms
          without falling to your feet

i've really stopped looking for someone
          unfortunately because currently my mind is just like
          i don't want to say I'm giving up
          and I've just seen everybody make me
          promises and make me promises and promises
          i was always looking for a caretaker
          looking for someone to you know, protect me
          take initiative for me
          and just be the greatest person ever
          for me
          and I may selfish
          i don't know
          but that's just me being honest

isn’t a night view such a cruel thing

i left, but can never get to leave once
          you say you wanna die, but live it much harder
          you say you wanna let go but put on another weight
          thinking of not thinking at all is still a thinking, you know
          actually this is our destiny, you know
          smiling in endless pain, you know
          there is no ‘freedom’ when you say ‘freedom’ out loud, you know

it's okay to shed the tears
          but don't you tear yourself 

It's happening again 
          But I don't give a fuck about friends
          I'm right here
          Here