balls

I miss Ellie so much why did I have to look up the songs meaning hahah 

I feel so weird and I can't bring myself to sleep

Im so nauseous and exhausted and I have an urge to dig a knife in my leg again lwk 

Sometimes I wish I could sympathize on addictions and I remember wanting one to just feel a little normalcy 

This song may just have saved my life bro had the bottle out and everything 

Thank you Hamilton 

Okay nevermind Hamilton just started playing and I'm giggling at it

Everyome is pissing me off and sometimes I just want to block everyone for no reason to see if it's real

Maybe I just gotta keep pushing through man crazy how I used to do this in a shared room maybe I just miss who he used to be maybe I miss who I was before but I've been doing this since it happened so not sure there was a before I'm so disgusted sometimes I need to be shot down can't even do my school work 

Why would you get clean?
          I been watching for several days
          Oh, I thought I knew you well
          I guess not, but oh well
          What do you mean?
          And why do you mean it?
          I see you getting clean, but who you getting clean for, huh?
          I’m so sick of you wasting my time
          I don’t wanna go for another ride
          You been leaving slime online for days
          You be the victim, and Ill be the bad one
          I don’t wanna go for another ride
          Text message that says “I miss you”
          Get the fuck away
          Imma tell you whats up
          What you’re doings pretty fucked up
          And you’re just gross disgusting
          Another young girl
          You manipulate and fuck her
          You are a coward and a creep
          I know you’re getting clean
          And I know who you’re getting clean for
          
          Haha.. hahahahahahahahaha