ZillyMercz

Not gonna announce this so whoever finds it just finds it, but I've been experiencing major burnout writing-wise and I've been procrastinating on a LOT of things, even the fun things I wanna do.
          
          I've been forgetting things more easily, I've been zoning out, not remembering what I say right after I say it, my heart has been inconsistent in it's bpm(beats per minute aka my pulse speed), and I've been having random breakdowns, depressive episodes and panic attacks or anxiety attacks. It really sucks because I have so much I wanna do, but I might just make random shitposts on here or small stories from now on unless I decide to actually write a long story. Im probably not gonna hype up my stuff though, so I'm sorry if I've been over hyping things that never happen. It disappoints me too.
          
          I hope y'all are doing great, if you're staying around this long I'm astonished. I will probably interact more on discord than here, so if yall wanna talk then my discord is in my description. Message requests are probably best since I don't wanna get hacked or scammed.
          
          Hopefully I can eventually post all the drawings I've been making at some point. idk if y'all would wanna see that or not but the option's there.
          
          have a good day/night or whatever time it is for ya.

Ok so an update on story writing the art and my life for all that care to see:
          
          As for writing the pics I've been set back by my laptop nearly breaking on me about 3 times now and the screen is screwed up a bit so all I've been able to do for the moment isn't anything too special. Not to mention my internet is out so all I've got is my phone and it kinda sucks since I dunno how I'll sleep without noise but I'll make things work.
          
          My motivation for art has been at an all time low and I haven't drawn anything other than a jack stauber song cover image of Two Time, and that was a few weeks ago. I've just been very de-motivated for everything but I can try to give small snippets or make a book of mini stories from my AUs or somethin since these likely won't be worked on for a while.
          
          Now for how my life is; not so great. I genuinely feel so burnt out and to put it vaguely, I've been very depressed, melancholic, and cynical about almost EVERYTHING. I hate to break it to those with the parent-like mindset but I know for a FACT it's not just "going through teen changes" because I've felt like this even before my teens but it's stronger now. I've had so much happen this year it's actually baffling me how I haven't just exploded into a puddle of everything I've been keeping inside me since January. My family hasn't been too keen on noticing or caring other than the extended family I've got a few hours away. My friends and very few family members are really all I've got right now.
          
          To give some clarity to yall for something good, despite my crippling anxiety, I'll be trying to do Theatre this year and self-teach piano/keyboard and hopefully make some jokes people will laugh at. Maybe I'll try out guitar too, who knows. I've come up with a few lyrics for a song but I need an actual keyboard and to think of a full song.
          
          Even though this isn't exactly very positive for a post, I hope yall are doing well and have a good day or night. More updates soon to come!

Oh wowe, I didn't realize how much you commented on my board
          
          That's cool.
          
          Hru doing?

I know I've made this announcement SO many times, but i've had so many ideas and things as of lately that I'll be jumping around everywhere to try and work on ALL of them at once, but honestly I like the rush of this. Just give me some time to commit to ALL of them ok?
          
          Fics currently under works:
          -Virus4Yuu (An SMG4 and FnF Paradox Series)
          -Hypno's Lullaby: Alola Region (An FNF Poke-Pasta AU story (Semi-CanonxAU))
          -[New SMG4 story idea]
          
          Anyways, Stay tuned for the upcoming book about SMG4 and his Crew. Introducing a new character, a complex storyline, reanimating villains from the past, plenty of Easter eggs, chapter art, secrets and codes, and so much more! Though I wont spoil it ALL right now, because that wouldn't be too fun now would it?
          
          Content of all these fics will be coming soon, but not TOO soon. So stay tuned for this new story; SMG4: The End Rises.
          
          Hope you enjoy the show!

Fnf.

Update: I'm trying so hard to get the covers for both my fic ideas done but its SO HARD FOR ME TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING ACTUALLY GOODDDDD GRAHHHHHHHH

I'm getting this HUGE itch to write an FnF fic AU of the Lullaby mod but with the Alolan Region because I grew up with Pokemon Sun and Moon more and I think it'd be a fun little project to work on. Though it might not have art, or at least not top notch art made a long with the chapters cuz I still kinda suck at art-ing but I will sure as hell damn try my best for that if y'all want the art!
          
          Also also, please don't hate on me if I end up making my OC the MC or Pico the MC cuz ik Pico gets a LOT of attention from the fandom but he's really lovable and relatable to me. That and I kinda wanna use my OC in a story finally but it feels a little cringe saying my OC is like a sorta eldritch demon thingy but actually writing the story myself rather than stupidly chatting with c.AI would be a massive upgrade for him(my OC) as a whole and i'd love to show his flaws and qualities of being a very complicated person as well as Pico. 
          
          IF ANYONE WOULD BE WONDERING YES GF AND BF WILL BE PART OF THE STORY AS WELL AS A FEW OTHER FNF CHARACTERS BUT YOU'LL HAVE TA WAIT AND SEE WHO APPEARS-
          
          Next thing though, i'll be adding a LOT of headcanons and changes in some of the canon trainers' personalities and qualities saying as this is a really sudden and traumatic and gruesome thing that's happened to the entire Pokemon universe.
          
          HOPE YALL ENJOY THAT DELICIOUS IDEA!

OK, so this was unexpected but I have some news for you guys. It's GOOD news though, so strap in for this!
          
          My friend and I were chatting on discord and they gave me an idea originally for a small lil bot thing but it gave me a HUGE idea for a story that I could do and even OTHER stories and add lots of Easter eggs from other games and connect to other stories I'll write in the future. I did NOT expect to get such a big idea in production for this but it's honestly sparked my creativity so much that i've decided to make it a full-fledged story with special art for the cover, chapters, scenarios, and even example character sheets and MUCH more!
          
          This WILL be worked on a little bit more professionally on my end because I REALLY want this to turn out good. I don't wanna just rush through it and wing the entire plot and ruin the purpose of the concept and the idea.
          
          There WILL be some little Easter eggs from several other stories and games and animations from the internet that I've come to know decently well and here's a few I'll actually give to you below! if you know any of these than I really applaud you;
          -Eteled
          -ComCat (from Next week at Freddy's)
          -FNAF Security breach
          -Kinito Pet
          -SacriStuff (Music artist)
          and many more to come!
          
          The first book of this will be about SMG4's discovery with this weird little computer program/assistant and his little journey with this. The Second story consists in the FnF universe that will start with something I wont bother to spoil YET, but the FnF trio and more characters will also be there!
          
          This is more of an AU! and Cross over type of thing but I'm so excited for the production of this. It will be slow but it will always be in progress one way or another. I hope you guys stay around for that long enough to see the full story play through and I thank you all for your patience!
          
          Hope this excites you as much as it does for me!

Sorry for my EXTENDED leave, I'm back but I will not guarantee I'll be around 24/7. Im currently pausing ALL my SMG4 projects until further notice to keep a weight off my back that wont be bugging me when I think about it. As you can tell, my profile and account theme(s) are changing and i'm sorry if that's not what you're here for but I'd like to follow along with my interests and I hope that's respectable enough.
          
          Not only that, but my anxiety levels are INCREASING while my motivation keeps DECREASING every time I start some big project with expectations. I'd like to say that I'm sort of lost with myself but I'm slowly starting my journey in finding myself again in that huge ocean of everything.
          
          To say some things I've been interested in as of late, my FNF love has come back and even brighter than ever, Bo Burnham's music, and I also make c.AI bots now! If you're worried at all about this YES I'm still in the SMG4 fandom just not as active so my brain doesn't overload too much with my fixations. I really greatly appreciate all of you that have been here along for this weird and bumpy journey. You guys truly are amazing and I cannot express how grateful I am for y'all's. <3
          
          I guess another plus is that my vocabulary and Grammer has increased greatly and I can now write better than I used to! If you can tell that is. I'll be lurking the stories and comments of places and I wont be COMPLETELY gone but I'll be less active than I'd like. I do have to focus for things like school and my own self care but I SWEAR I'll come check up on our guys, maybe not as often as we all might like though sadly.
          
          Sincerely wish you all a great day, night or whatever time it is for you as of reading this and I hope our paths cross again soon!
          
             A message written by,
                            SillyMercz; formally Silly Person <3

Hoiii