yourmomsbookshelf

Oh and I go by she/they pronouns now and um I lost a lot of friends when I told them that so if you wanna leave me, that's okay :)

Boys these days have no fucking idea how to treat a woman. They think we're just step-sis, blowjob-obsessed, sluts. NO. I want to go running through the streets of New York at night, hand in hand and laughing our heads off.  I want to wake up with them next to me and have them pull me close to warm me up. I want to go on the boardwalk and get facepaints with each other.  I'll take the arguements and the fighting I'll take the pain just somebody hold me.

i made a fictional character simping discord server... plz join https://discord.gg/QvS8Y6

i joined a cute little kinky discord server and god fucking damnit im in little space again

hi idk why I'm wasting everyone's time with this I just really needed to write this but yeah enjoy <3 :3

Y'ALL I WATCHED THE KAMALA AND AVENGERS LIVE STREAM AND IT WAS AMAZING AND MY VOICE IS FUCKING HOARSE FROM THE SCREAMING THAT I DID ABOUT CHRIS EVANS AND HIS TATTOOS AND RDJ BEING A DIVA AND OHMYGOD IT WAS MAGICAL. ALSO. If members from Team Cap AND Team Ironman are telling you to vote, you fucking VOTE. Periodt.

@tybooming, your part is up! enjoy ;)

okay so i need to rant.
          my best friend is coming in from oklahoma tmrw night at around 10pm. 
          she is planning on seeing her other friends  maria on friday and audrey and ashley on saturday.her mom called me last week and said that she was planning on spending all of sunday morning with me for some one-on-one time. 
          my friend texted me today and asked me if she could sleepover at ashleys house on saturday night. i got mad. everyone's telling me im being petty but i dont think i am. she literally cancelled our fucking plans as soon as someone gave her a better offer. no one's listening because her mom called my mom and said that poor *insert my "friend"s name here* was crying because she didn't want to make anyone mad. i am the villian apparently. people are telling me im being fucking petty. i need unbiased opinions.
          THE ORIGINAL WEEKEND SCHEDULE
          thursday-10pm: friend 1 arrives
          friday-zoom school for me from 8:30-2:30 so i cant hang out
          friday-anytime of day-friend 1 goes to see maria 
          friday-4pm-friend 2 arrives
          friday-4:45pm-i have a horsebackriding lesson
          friday evening-cake and pasta
          saturday morning-friend 2 leaves
          saturday afternoon- friend 1 goes to see ashley and audrey
          saturday evening- friend 1 comes back and we hang and she sleeps over 
          sunday morning- friend 1 leaves
          THE NEW FUCKING SCHEDULE
          thursday-10pm: friend 1 arrives
          friday-zoom school for me from 8:30-2:30 so i cant hang out
          friday-anytime of day-friend 1 goes to see maria 
          friday-4pm-friend 2 arrives
          friday-4:45pm-i have a horsebackriding lesson
          friday evening-cake and pasta
          saturday morning-friend 2 leaves
          saturday afternoon- friend 1 goes to see ashley and audrey
          saturday evening- friend 1 sleeps over at ashleys house
          sunday morning-friend 1 leaves from ashleys house
          im having a fucking mental breakdown over this

fuck i need a hug

LETS TALK ABOUT SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH:
          1. I can't hear people tell me they like me, think I'm pretty, or like being around me. I did a scene in my film class where the other character told me he liked me and he liked being around me and I freaked out.
          2. I get panic attacks when I hear pain. I first figured this out when I watched Bucky get tortured in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and in Civil War. Hearing him scream like that made me so panicky. Also when i first got my dog and I had to put him in his crate when I had to take a shower, he was crying and I started hyperventilating in the shower.
          3. I'm adopted
          4. I figured out I have anxiety. When I have to do things like, go get food from a buffet, I start freaking out. And when I need something at someones house like food or where something is. Also at stores when I need to reach something. 
          5. I have ADHD
          6.  I don't talk to my friends or family or therapists about anything. My parents, well, if they hadn't picked my orphanage to pick their kid from, they wouldn't care whether I lived or died. It was a game of chance. My friends, they don't need to have added stress in their lives. We also met by a roll of the dice so same thing with the parents. My therapist couldn't give two shits about me. She's paid to care. 
          7. When I get sad, all the suicidal, depressed, angry, and sad thoughts just get drawn like a magnet to the front row seats of my brain. 
          8. I've had at least 4 mental breakdowns in the past 4 weeks.
          9. People treat me like shit but I don't do anything about it. I just think, well, the fact that they have to say/do these things to me to make them feel better must mean that they feel a lot of pain, much worse than me. If me being their emotional punching bag makes them feel better, than that's fine by me.