yoursunalwayshere

this message may be offensive 
I need to rant a little bit…
          	TW // suicide
          	Yesterday I found out that my ex gf took her life. We dated for three years, and I broke up with her a year ago. I hadn’t heard from her since then, she moved away and had a new gf. I really thought (or maybe hoped) that she was truly happy. She had mentioned to me many times that she wanted to commit while we were together, but she never did it, so I thought that she would never go through with it.
          	She was extremely toxic to me. She treated me like shit both in private and in front of our friends, she cheated on me and really made me miserable. I loved her so much, so I stayed. I stayed and stayed until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Afterwards, I resented her, I hated her even. I would never miss the occasion to through a jab at her whenever I’d talk about her with my friends. Now, I have to make peace with the fact that I can’t hate her anymore. This past year, that was all I focused on. I turned my hurt and anger into strength to pull myself together and get over her and the trauma she left me with. Now I don’t have that anymore, bc what kind of person speaks poorly of someone who took their own life? I really don’t know what to do. I just wish someone could tell me what to do, how to deal with this hurt and these conflicting feelings. All my friends have moved away, I’ll be completely alone in this city that her and I loved so much, with everything to remind me of her. 
          	I’ll go to her funeral alone, I’ll have to see all of her friends that I was once friends with, her girlfriend, her parents who are a big reason why she took her life. 
          	I’m so lucky that my parents, my sister and my friends are being so supportive and nice, and I’ll also see my therapist next week, so hopefully that’ll help clear my head a little bit.
          	Sorry for ranting on here, I just needed to get it off my chest

yoursunalwayshere

this message may be offensive 
I need to rant a little bit…
          TW // suicide
          Yesterday I found out that my ex gf took her life. We dated for three years, and I broke up with her a year ago. I hadn’t heard from her since then, she moved away and had a new gf. I really thought (or maybe hoped) that she was truly happy. She had mentioned to me many times that she wanted to commit while we were together, but she never did it, so I thought that she would never go through with it.
          She was extremely toxic to me. She treated me like shit both in private and in front of our friends, she cheated on me and really made me miserable. I loved her so much, so I stayed. I stayed and stayed until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Afterwards, I resented her, I hated her even. I would never miss the occasion to through a jab at her whenever I’d talk about her with my friends. Now, I have to make peace with the fact that I can’t hate her anymore. This past year, that was all I focused on. I turned my hurt and anger into strength to pull myself together and get over her and the trauma she left me with. Now I don’t have that anymore, bc what kind of person speaks poorly of someone who took their own life? I really don’t know what to do. I just wish someone could tell me what to do, how to deal with this hurt and these conflicting feelings. All my friends have moved away, I’ll be completely alone in this city that her and I loved so much, with everything to remind me of her. 
          I’ll go to her funeral alone, I’ll have to see all of her friends that I was once friends with, her girlfriend, her parents who are a big reason why she took her life. 
          I’m so lucky that my parents, my sister and my friends are being so supportive and nice, and I’ll also see my therapist next week, so hopefully that’ll help clear my head a little bit.
          Sorry for ranting on here, I just needed to get it off my chest

jkahgdjnssjanbsn

Hey love, can you please check out my Larry fic Bounded love . Tell me anything I could do in return.
          
          With all of my love,
          - zou xx

yoursunalwayshere

Hi darling! I will definitely check it out when I get the chance and I’ll be leaving lots of comments!! You don’t have to do anything in return love <3
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