Lately, I’ve been feeling completely drained. Like I have no energy, no motivation—just this constant heaviness I can’t shake.
I walk down the street and get stared at or catcalled like it’s normal. It happens on the bus, outside, even near home. Why? Just because they can? It’s disgusting, and it makes me feel so small.
Mentally, I’ve been struggling a lot. I’m trying to stay strong, but everything’s building up.
Writing has been the only thing helping me. My poems and stories aren’t just creative stuff—they’re me trying to make sense of what I’m feeling. They’re the only way I can release what’s going on in my head.
But when I showed someone a poem that meant a lot to me, they just said, “Is that it?” That actually hurt. Like I gave them a glimpse into how I really feel, and they brushed it off.
I’ve also been dealing with stuff from the past that still confuses me. Things I can’t explain that no one ever talks about. I’m not even sure if what I remember was real, but something definitely wasn’t right. Someone should’ve been there for me.
On top of that, I got into an argument with a friend recently. She told me I was a terrible person and that I hurt everyone around me. I apologized to people I thought I may have hurt, but now I’m just second-guessing everything.
I feel like I’m drowning in my own thoughts. Like I need a break before I fall even deeper.
So I’m stepping back for a while. I love you guys, I really do. Thank you for being here and for reading this. I just need a bit of space to breathe and figure things out.
I’ll be back when I feel a little more okay.
Stay warm and drink hot chocolate
love you, my loves