yun ☆

it's fun coming back here, feels sooo nostalgic! i miss those days where i would come back here everyday. i hope every reader ive ever interacted with, every authors whose book ive read, are living their fullest life now. i think they're no longer coming here as frequent as they used to be too. and it's fine! people grow. i deeply cherish and appreciated all of those times where the people on this app makes me the happiest. i will forever love all of you as well. wattpad will definitely make it in my acknowledgements if my life were ever to be written into a book. it has helped so much in shaping the kind of person i am today. i have shifted to reading actual books now, but wattpad will always be a special place for me <3 

feel like thats just how i feel with kpop in general now. i cant believe im no longer as active as i used to be on stan twitter now? like can you believe that? me, someone who is ALWAYS on twitter, is no longer on it 24/7? i used to be keeping up with multiple of kpop updates, dreamies' updates and everything. but i no longer do that now. even if i try, i'll either be a day or a few days late. literally, my stan acc now is collecting dust. and i think it has to do with my growing up too. i no longer find the need to check my twitter 24/7, as a little bit surprisingly, i have a life to tend to. i feel a little detached from kpop too now. i try not to indulge myself into any of the controversies, and ive long since abandoned fanwars. i never looked at any of them for years now. i could say, i was never as obsessive as i used to be. i still do listen to kpop religiously though, i watch the recent comebacks and all that, but i guess being on stan twt slowly drains me bit by bit, and i realized, it's okay to take a break from it. ever since, i never looked back. which is what led me here now. 
          
          the life that i have now demands so much attention from me too. i have so much responsibilities, work and burden to look after that i just couldnt be bothered to stay on stan twt anymore. and i think, becoming this type of kpop stan is the best for me. i dont need to give too much energy, only when needed, or when i feel like it. i no longer feel burdened to keep up with anything. i feel comfortable to just listen to kpop whenever i want to, and quit when i didnt. 
          
          i believe this is a sign of maturity as well. i believe i am slowly maturing into my own person. that said, though, i will always love kpop as well. it has taken over my teen years, and i believe it will take over my adult years too. i could never be properly free from kpop's clutches, that much i can assure. 
          
          with love, 
          asha <3

hi! its been so long since ive last been here. i think a lot of has changed for the past few years, and i think im in a better state of mind now. and wow, seeing how broken i was after mashidam's department was quite...nostalgic. frankly, now, though i said it wouldnt be true, im not really into treasure that much anymore. sure, i still keep up with their new songs, amd some of their updates, but i am no longer as attached as i was 3/4 years ago. i only follow necessary updates, and i wasnt as enthusiastic as i was. it's sad, devastating and heartbreaking, but i think thats just life. we're meant to out grow some people who we think was our whole world. i hate to say this, but i believe they're just a phase. i do still love them, and they'll forever have the special place in my heart, but i just cant find myself to properly keep up with them as obsessively as i used to. maybe it's because ive grown up, and life is getting bit in the way now. but, that being said, i still love them, and i will always do. 

Thank you so much for voting on "Beneath the Board Room" 
          Take care

it took me about 6 months to fully accept mashidam's department. and it was only until both mashidam created instagram accounts on their own. that was when it completely strucked me that they are really on their own now. my heart doesn't aches that much anymore whenever i rewatched tmap again. instead, i felt happy that they were once a part of treasure. just that mere thought is enough to make me feel contented. im so so glad mashidam were once called treasure. now, i will support mashiho, yedam and treasure continuously as long as i breathe, but there'll not be a time where i forget that they used to be twelve. i will always cherish their memories as twelve, that's my promise. 

i moved on, sort of. i have accepted that they'll never be twelve again but i'll always remember them as twelve. ten in eyes, twelve in heart. 

ive never post anything about the japan line now. it just feels weird and incomplete seeing them as three. usually, i used to cherish the four japanese members a lot and would never miss any member out. if there's just three of them in a picture, i wouldn't address them as japan line, but rather their names. so it feels very very unusual to address the three members as the complete japanese line. but i guess, i'll have to get used to it. 

i like to think the news was just a dream. and there will be day where i will just wake up from it. seriously, i had never expected any of treasure members would leave. whenever that idea crossed my mind, i would be like "nah that's literally impossible" and that's literally what happened. i'm still devastated.

i kinda moved on from mashidam's departure but it's still hard to swallow. my heart aches whenever i see them as ten now and wishes i could see them as twelve again. though, that is literally impossible 

i don't have the appetite to eat, im so sad