zylithmei

This is probably the last message I'll write here... And you'll never read it... 
          It's my goodbye... To you.. To us... 
          
          We made up... But didn't meet... 
          God proved me... We weren't meant to be.. 
          We finally got past the hard feelings.. But now realized that it was the end of our story... 
          I've finally moved on.. For real this time.. 
          
          The hard past did make me repent.. But it also freed my heart from all the memories... I finally got my closure.. I finally got my peace... 
          
          Goodbye my friend... For I'll forever cherish the memories of us.. Somewhere in my heart.. 
          
          Bye Gogi~

On days like this.. 
          On times like this... 
          Your thoughts cross my mind... But the more i try to ignore them.. The more they take over my mind and heart... 
          Making me feel the pain all over again... 
          Reminding me of what could've happened if the incident didn't take place... Where would we be if we didn't fall out... 
          I've no one to pour my heart to... 
          I've no one to share my tears with... 
          If you were actually not a good company for me... Then why can't i forget you?
           If God didn't want to keep you in my life... Then why hasn't he given me peace yet?
          Whoever knows what happened.. Only tells me to let it be.. It's better that way... You were never my person.... 
          But why can't my heart accept it? 

I've stopped talking about you with others... I told them I've moved on... That you don't matter to me anymore... That i hate you. .. That your existence itself is haunting me... I want you gone out of sight since you're already out of my life... But
          I think it's a lie... Again
          I think I've mastered this art... Of lying
          I lost you because i lied.. 
          And I'm losing myself because I'm lying.. 
          I'm so... sooo alone
          From waking up to going on with my day and sleeping again... There's not a single moment where i don't feel lonely... It's like even i am not with myself anymore.. 
          And the worst part is... Instead of getting mingled with new people to make this loneliness go away... I'm isolating myself even more.. 
          What have you done to me? 
          I wasn't like this... 
          All i needed was a friend... 
          But you took that away from me as well.. 

I know you're never going to read this...but just to let you know... I'm starting to lose faith... Faith in our friendship that lasted almost 11 years... I've been trying to hold onto the broken pieces...just in case one day you decide to come back...But I think i can't anymore... You were my best friend, my sister, my diary, my everything... 
          I know I'm the one at fault...but you never even gave me one reason...to explain myself or to share my sincerity... The least you could give me was a closure..
          Sometimes I wonder...even if i didn't make that mistake..will you still be by my side??? Since you oh so desperately wanted me out of your life? 

All those unsaid promises...
          Did they really mean nothing to you? 

I wish you were here...
          I wish you could hear me out for once...
          
          It hurts pretending that it doesn't hurt...