A Walk Down Memory Lane

It's a foggy, cloudy morning as I took a stroll down memory lane with Teddy, our giant malamute. The thought of you always on my mind. The way you smiled brightened even the darkest day. You were the sunshine that no cloud could erase. I remember when we first met. I didn't even know I liked girls, but I knew as soon as I saw you, I liked you. You had that kind of face that made everything seem alright.

We were in college at the time when we first met and I was lucky enough to have you as my lab partner. I didn't know then that being your partner would change my life so drastically. God, I still remember how you made me laugh with your cheesy jokes. It was hard not to smile when you were around. You made every bad feeling leave my thoughts. I felt elated when I was around you. The way you talked brought wonder into my life. I hung onto every word. Even just the sound of your voice was a melody so sweet, it made songbirds sing.

We quickly became friends. Our friendship was the kind that stories were made of. We shared secrets about each other that no one else knew. We told each other our life stories. The good, the bad, and the parts we even hid from ourselves.

The more time I spent with you, the more I fell in love with you. I didn't even realize what that word meant before I met you. Then you told me how you felt about me. You admitted to me that you were gay. I was at first afraid even though I knew deep down I felt the same way. I hate to admit it, but I felt ashamed. I knew I had these feelings for you. I knew it to be true, but my parents would never approve.

The way they preached their beliefs, they'd never accept me for who I am and I tried hard to shun my feelings. I tried to deny them, but in the end, I only ended up hurting you which was by far the worst thing I could've ever done. I felt so hopeless, so depressed and so miserable after I tried to push you out of my life. My days grew dark and my heartfelt pain. My heart darkened at the thought of a life without you.

I tried to move on. I tried to become the girl my parents wanted, but it only made my life worse. I felt I was living a lie. I couldn't deny who I am and who I love. I rushed back to you and you accepted me without hesitation. I felt so warm being held in your arms. When we kissed for the first time, I knew then and there what love truly felt like.

We spent many nights in college, held in each other's arms. I would give anything to have one more night with your head in my lap and my hands in that silky black hair of yours. What I would give to feel your lips on mine one more time.

You always made me feel special. Even with all my insecurities, you had a way of making them fade away. I thought my hair was too curly, but you loved the way it'd curl around your finger. I didn't like the freckles I had, but you said they were like looking into the night sky. You made me love myself.

I remember our first date together. It was a disaster, but it made for one of the sweetest memories that we laughed about ever since. We went to a busy restaurant and waited for over an hour for a table. But what an hour it was. You made me laugh with your interpretation of the conversations people were having. I'll never forget your impression of that man in the suit with the toupee. You thought he was discussing how toupees were made. No matter what situation, you always seemed to find the humor in it.

I can't forget the walk we took afterward and how we got caught in the rain. We had to run for the park shelters to escape the rain and we got soaked. Even so, you laughed as both of our makeup ran down our faces. The kiss we shared made that entire date worth it.

I remember the first time we had sex after our 3rd date. Wow was it awkward. I had no idea what I was doing. We ended up smacking heads as we tried to be sexy, but even so, I had never felt pleasure like that in all my life up until that moment, but even that didn't compare to the way we held each other afterward. We spent the entire night kissing. I'll never forget how loved I felt.