It appears, dear reader, that spontaneous combustion is once again a problem here in Suburbia. We know this because, as they were taking their naps and listening to the early works of Edgar Allen Poe, the entire fourth-grade class of our dear elementary school erupted into flames. No one suspects foul play, mostly because the classroom was right next to the boiler room and the uniforms are highly flammable. Actually, im not too sure why we're labeling the tragedy as 'spontaneous combustion'. It wasn't very 'spontaneous'. But, im not a professional, so its not any of my business.
