Under The Mistletoe

Ho Ho Ho

My besties Peter, Joshua, Paula, and Megan, lounge with me in my sitting room, happily taking shots of brandy. We formed the habit of being together every Christmas evening for dinner and night for drinks, and no matter where we are in the world, we make it a date.

This year, with my family out of town, I'm excited to play host, and I make my family home as Christmassy as possible, even installing a fake chimney for the mythic Santa Claus to come through with gifts. I'm the object of ridicule for believing Santa exists, so I try to explain that I don't believe in him as a person but only as a Christmas tradition. The explanation comes out slurred, and everyone laughs at me.

Peter, the clown in the group, raises his glass and makes a toast to the imaginary Santa Claus, who only lives on TV screens, storybooks, and greeting cards. We all laugh, clink our glasses, and drink. Santa is now the object of ridicule. When we calm down from the excitement, we hear a strange sound coming from the fake chimney. We all panic for a moment there, but Peter helps relax our nerves. He staggers to the chimney and says that Santa is probably stuck in there because he's too fat.

We explode in laughter and don't hear the sounds that follow until an overweight man dressed as Santa slides down and greets "Ho Ho Ho." Laughter immediately seizes in the room as if turned off by a knob. We look at each other to be sure that we're seeing the same thing. We are, so we don't think it might be the alcohol.

Peter is still laughing at his joke. We try to signal to him to shut up and sit down, but our faces make him laugh the more. Santa has a red bag, which he empties on the floor. Gift boxes roll out, and one hits Peter on the leg. Still laughing, Peter turns around but freezes in fear when he sees Santa. He takes a few shaky steps backwards, then stumbles and falls.

Santa smiles mischievously and says that he has gifts for us. He picks up the first box and starts with Peter, handing him a joker's mask since he likes to joke around. Peter doesn't have to collect it because it floats over to him and forces itself on his face. Peter appears paralysed as he struggles to resist using weird facial expressions. It's useless; the mask fits perfectly, and he starts to laugh uncontrollably until he chokes. We watch in horror as he coughs up blood and suddenly dies laughing.

Once that is over, Santa turns to us and asks who's next. We all jump up, screaming and running in all directions. I head for the front door, and it doesn't open. Megan makes for the stairs, and a force pushes her back. Joshua tries the window, and it snaps shut, almost taking off his fingers. Paula stands in the middle of the room, shaken.

Santa lets out an evil laugh as he goes for the next gift. He reads the name on it: "Paula." She yells, and we all join in. Santa opens the box and brings out a face. He spins it around, and we notice it's Paula's face. She shrieks, and when we look at her, she has no face, just a skeletal structure covered in blood. Santa reveals that Paula hates herself and wishes to be someone else, so he wants to make her dream come true by taking her unwanted face. She cries and chokes in pain until she drops down and dies.

The rest of us yelp and run to each other, holding hands. Our hearts beat in different rhythms, and I can hear them all. Santa picks a third gift and smiles at Joshua. We all yell in response. Joshua makes a run for Santa to attack him, but Santa freezes him mid-stride. Santa reveals that Joshua would like to be muscular and fit so that I would notice him, so he snaps a finger, and Joshua's chest and muscles begin to expand until they tear apart.

Just two of us left, we cry and beg Santa, but he picks the next gift and looks at Megan. He pouts at Megan, then asks her why she came over when she had told her mirror that she would rather die than share the same room with me because she fancies Joshua, but Joshua fancies me. Santa asks her how she would want to die, and she cries like a baby. He brings out a mirror from the box, and it floats towards her. She tries to shut her eyes, but something forces them open. She looks into the mirror and begins to shrink while her physical form transfers into the mirror. After she dries out, her bones shatter all over the floor, and at the same time, the mirror falls and breaks into hundreds of pieces.

Santa goes for the box that had hit Peter's leg; mine. He opens it and brings out a photo of my family. He says I wanted them gone for Christmas, and since I'm part of them, then I should go too. I want to explain that I didn't mean dead, just away for the day, but I don't have the chance to. Santa waddles towards me, grabs me by the neck, and lifts me. He stares at me as if he isn't sure of how to kill me, then he swirls his finger, and a sharp blade appears.

I gasp as the blade rests on my tummy, then startle when I hear the clock strike twelve. Each sound destabilises Santa. He drops the knife first, before letting go of my neck. He then holds his hands over his ears, staggers backwards, and runs up the chimney. I tremble as I tear the chimney down, wondering what had happened, then realise that Christmas day is over.