𝐕𝐔𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 ✰ v. hacker

FIFTY-TWO | IRL

𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒚

She missed hearing his voice...one that calmed her but but gave her butterflies at the same time.

She missed his laugh...a goofy sound he'd let out often when he was with her, accompanied by his heart-melting smile.

She missed his jokes...stupid ones that somehow managed to make her crack up.

She missed his company...that she never got tired of and always missed minutes after they had separated for the evening.

She missed his touch...gentle and caring as he held her hand or holding her around her waist.

Riley missed him.

Her heart wrenched within her, threatening to make tears spill from her eyes. She had sworn to not cry today, at least one day, and she'd made it for the first 10 hours successfully. It'd been a whirlwind of a day, with meetings and dance classes and a photo shoot, so with the busy-ness it'd been easy to push him to the back of her mind.

But now she was at the skate park...the same one she'd met him at and shared so many memories of adrenaline-filled nights at. She had tried to stay off in the corner so as to not get close to where the breakup had happened and not be close to others that might recognize her and try to talk to her. Still, her eyes kept drifting back over to where they had been in nights past.

Simpler, happier times.

Over to her left was the slope where he'd almost slammed into her when they first met and further down was where he'd given her tips on landing a tre. As her eyes wandered right, there was the platform where they'd practiced kick flips off of. She glanced at a group of middle school boys skating far ahead of her...where a few weeks ago they'd lain and confessed their biggest fears, a deep conversation she still replayed over in her head every night. Behind her was a row of railings and stairs where she and Vinnie had fallen on top of each other and couldn't get up because they had been laughing so hard. And by the entrance of the park was a concrete block where they'd said their last goodbyes.

Yeah, coming to this park was a terrible idea. Before she knew it, she was wiping tears off her cheeks she didn't know had fallen.

Another day, another breakdown.

Riley ducked her head, blinking back tears and wiping them off. She couldn't let anyone see her crying.

After a few deep breaths, she lifted her head and forced herself to get back on her board. I'm was here to skate, not to have a crying session, Riley thought with annoyance. As she attempted the flip Vinnie had been teaching her, she ended up on the ground. Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes.

So much for her attempt to compose herself...it was becoming more and more difficult to not snap her board and quit.

Riley missed his gentle hands on her waist that guided her through the maneuver and how he'd encourage her in a comforting tone when she got frustrated. She missed how he explained tips and corrections in a clear way that didn't make her feel stupid.

She needed him.

✰✰✰

"How was skating?" Mia asked, flopping down on Riley's bed later that evening. Riley was about to post a tiktok and then head to bed. She hesitated to answer right away.

Shrugging, she mumbled, "Okay."

After forcing herself to stay at the park for another hour, she'd finally gotten a lot closer to landing the trick. Still, she was frustrated that suck a simple maneuver had been so hard for her, as well as her emotional instability the entire time.

"Why just okay?"

Riley rolled her eyes. "Why do you think? Because I'm at the one place where everything reminds me of him. Today was so hard and I couldn't even land anything."

WIth a frown, Mia scooted closer to her younger sister, wrapping her arms around her in a hug. "I'm sorry."

There was silence for a long second. Riley trying not to cry again, and Mia trying to think of what else to say. Finally, she spoke.

"I think you should turn on your comments again."

"Huh?" Riley's eyebrows furrowed. "You just made me turn them off."

Mia shrugged. "I did. But I think you're stronger than you let yourself think. You're capable of handling the hate."

"No, I'm not."

Facing Riley, Mia looked at her with sincerity in her eyes. "You are. You just think there's a certain "LA" way you must handle the hate because that's what everyone here does. But if you handle the hate how you would, I think you could stand up to the haters."

"I don't know what that means," Riley shook her head.

"You have such a good heart, Riley."

She shrugged. "Yeah, everyone says that but I still don't know what that means."

"Turn on your comments and reply to comments how you would reply to them."

Riley's eyes locked with Mia's, her mind turning over what she had just said.

"Okay. I will."

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