No Turning Back

Chapter Seven: A Christmas Special Pt. 1

A few days had passed since we arrived at the cosmodrome. Primis and I hadn't spoken much about our plan - or lack thereof. He hadn't even made the effort to try and figure one out; and, he certainly wasn't the type to go blindly into something. I wondered if he had begun to doubt that I would follow through on what I promised to Maxis. Or perhaps he had been suspicious from the start? Either way, I had to keep such thoughts out of my mind.

We had established a living quarters in the centrifuge room; more specifically, the area where the lunar lander docks at the beginning of the game. The small room where the Juggernog machine is located seemed so cosy; but instinct and habit had caused us to seek out somewhere which would prevent any unexpected ambush of undead.

There was really not much to do; we simply had to wait. We sat on our makeshift beds as I tried to wrap myself in my blanket whilst in deep thought. It must have been close to the 6th of November by now - the day when Richtofen and the guys would finally arrive at the cosmodrome. But it also meant that it was going to be Christmas soon - back home. I had made sure to count the nights I spent here since I arrived in this universe. I figured you would lose track of your own time otherwise - especially when you're travelling between different time periods.

My heart sank at the thought of Christmas coming and going with my family still not knowing where I was. In fact, it made me feel absolutely awful. And the knowledge of this had made me quieter than usual; which Primis had taken note of. But, I knew he was not good talking about feelings and emotions.

Primis sat beside me and was trying his best to occupy himself with notes and paperwork; which he had scribbled on as he tried to figure out why no one had arrived to meet us yet. But it was more than evident that the impatience was gnawing away at him.

"Verdammit! Vhere zhe hell are zhey?!" Primis exclaimed in frustration. I was torn from my thoughts before turning to look at him.

"Don't worry, Edward. They should be here any day. I know it's boring having to wait but--", I stopped as I let out a sigh. Primis turned to face me with a look of concern.

"Kiana, please tell me vhat is wrong?" Primis asked as he looked into my eyes with compassion and concern in his own.

"Oh, it's nothing. Really", I responded dismissively - I really did not want to worry him further. Primis looked away and we sat in silence. But, just as I was about to immerse myself in my thoughts; he turned to look at me again and took a deep breath to compose himself before speaking.

"Jou have been quiet since ve arrived. I know jou made zhe promise to Maxis but I vorry zhat zhe veight of zhis burden is too much for jou to bear", Primis finally blurted out. He really was awkward with emotional matters. But regardless, I always appreciated his efforts.

"I can deal with that, Edward. It's just-- it's just... I'm feeling down thinking about back home. It'll be Christmas soon there; the same day Richtofen is fated to arrive here in this universe. I've been keeping track of how many days have passed in my universe by counting the nights I spend in this one. It's just sad to think my that family have been worrying about where I am for all this time. And I'm not even there to celebrate the holidays with them", I quickly blurted out in return.

I felt bad overwhelming him but I selfishly wanted to talk about it. To be honest, I felt relieved just saying how I felt out loud. I didn't really need any kind words - they couldn't really change things anyways.

But, suddenly, Primis put his arm around me as he tried to comfort me. I knew it was hard for him to do but I appreciated him going outside of his own comfort zone. Yet, I still felt so awful for complaining about not being able to see my family... when he never really had one at all. I hated times like these where I felt needy.