Thug since day 1

What happened to my Ex

So I woke up and Chres was gone ....so I was bored so my mind started to wonder and I started to think about what happened to my Ex boyfriend Nicklaus he was my all or nuthin I could feel my self about to cry like I did when he .......

...................Flashback....................
It was summer break and I was upstairs in my room listening to music when I heard a knock on my door I went to answer it .....and there stood my boyfriend
Nicklaus smiling like an idiot
And I couldn't help but smile back while laughing at his sillyness
Me-what are you smiling for ?
Nick-(kisses me on the lips instead of answering the question)
Me-(kisses back, then pulls away) that still didn't answer my question .
Nick-ik I just wanted to kiss you
Me-(walks to bed and lays down) when don't you want to kiss me ?
Nick-while I'm eating food or on the toilet that just weird! (Laughs, while walking to bed)
Me-lol true , but what did you want ?
Nick-wanted to know if you wanted to come with me to this party tonight ?
Me-(smiles) yeah I'll go .
Nick-alright , be ready in 45mins
Me-wait , What!
Nick -starting now!
And with he left so I hopped up took a quick shower put on lotion straightened my hair put on a my high waisted bleached washed jeans white crop top , silver belly ring ,silver hoop ear rings, a black Bennie , and the silver case on my phone, and my high heel Tim's and ran down stairs.
Nick-(looks up and smiles ) you had five more minutes
Me-shut up and come on !
Nick-alright ma let's go! (Grabs hand and walks me to the car)
He opened the door for me and we got in and started towards the party he reached over and grabbed my hand I looked over at him we smiled at each other and kept driving I cut on the radio and All of Me came on and he started to sing to me I just sat back and smiled at him . after about 5 more minutes we arrived at the party I was about to get out the car when he pulled me back an kissed me I smiled he smiled at me too and told me he loved me I told him I loved him to we got out of the car hand in hand and he introduced me to some of his friends and then we started dancing grinding ,slow dancing and everything them it got hot so we went outside and we where walking with his arms around me so we were basically walking like penguins we just kept telling each other how much we loved each other then I noticed one of my friends I said I be back I went to say hi then all you heard was POP!POP!POP! Everybody got down I looked up and Nick was on the ground bleeding I got up and ran over to him crying he was barely breathing one of his friends called an ambulance I was hold ing his head in my lap he told me that he was no good for me and that I could ,would , and should do better cuz he would just hurt me in the end but I didn't believe him cuz I loved him to much to think I could do better then him he told me that he loved me and after that he died in my arms my friend pulled me off of him and held me while I cried she called my cousin and dad and told them what happened and they came and got me I was crying in the back seat my cousin holding me and my dad telling me it's gonna be okay ...I went to his funeral and watched them put him in the ground after that there was no more sunshine in my life ,only clouds and gray sky's I had no one to hold me ,to talk to , to treat me the way he did when I he was here ,no one to make me happy when I'm sad no one to make me feel better about ....anything there was just no one
And so when I'm with Chres it feels right in every way shape and form but I feel like I'm betraying nick in sum way I don't know it's hard to explain .......
...............Flashback over.............
I didn't even realize how hard I was crying until my dad came in and sat by me and held me and rocked me back and forth trying to calm me down ......... ..........................
Then after a while I feel asleep on my dad's chest ...