Stone Cold | Tanjirou Kamado (old version)

21. Twisting (and back to the start)

That morning, silence felt strange.

Dawn would come soon and the Sun wouldn't take much to appear, however, her crow hadn't waken her up with his yelling.

Ayaka opened an eye from her bed to check if he had decided to annoy her by hiding somewhere and getting out when she least expected. It wasn't likely, she knew, her crow took his job seriously and he wouldn't do that on the day of a mission.

She brushed away her doubts and yawned, scratching her eye lazily as she got rid of the clothes that marked her as a patient of the Butterfly Estate, being swiftly changed by the new demon slayer uniform a kakushi had brought her not too long ago.

At the sight of the long sleeves Ayaka scrunched up her nose, and without a second thought ripped them apart to leave the upper part of the uniform just how her previous one had been.

The scars from Rui's threads would always be visible on her forearms, thin lines of a light pink that didn't favour her at all, but she had something to cover them with. Although the age of samurais had ended long ago, Ayaka had been able to find old parts of an armour sold by some poor man with a countless list of debts behind, somewhere on the city nearby where Shinobu bought the medicine, so she had gotten herself a pair of kote gloves to go with her suneate and hide Rui's scars.

The iron pieces weren't too heavy for her, she just hoped Inosuke didn't ask for a pair, she had no idea about ironwork and it was, by far, more difficult than making suneate.

Oyakata-sama's haori was on the bed, it had been there ever since she took it off, and just thinking about wearing it again brought more stress than relief.

Oyakata-sama would be with her, that was true, but she wasn't sure if Oyakata-sama would look at her with good eyes if she ever disappointed him while wearing his haori. She had no reason to be proud of what she was doing, would Oyakata-sama approve of her abandoning Tanjirou? If he didn't, it wouldn't matter, Ayaka didn't either and yet she still chose that path.

Somehow resigned, Ayaka put on the white haori adorned with purple flowers.

What choice did she have, anyway? To say she couldn't be with him if she wanted to be a pillar? To hurt or be hurt, and so continued the endless cycle.

She wondered if Himejima-shishou would accuse her of having a wavering determination, and that was the only way Ayaka could be described.

Her determination wavered, trembling near the end of a cliff and getting closer and closer to the tipping point. What would be crashed with the rocks that fell this time?

First it had been Yuu's parents, then it had been her own. She couldn't let any other rock fall, even if it was Ayaka herself who had to carry them on the way up.

«Because it's my responsibility»

Somewhere in Japan, Oyakata-sama beared a sad smile.

The Butterfly Estate was still as coldly silent as the moment she woke up.

There were no Tanjirous, Zenitsus or Inosukes to fill in the emptiness the night left with their childishness, there weren't any Yuus or girls to sing songs either, nor Aois to scold them for whatever wrongdoing they committed. It would make sense the only thing left was Kanao, and she was who Ayaka found at the edge of the door, maybe back from a mission, or on her way to a new one.

She was dressed in her uniform, white cape and all, of course, without a single speck of dust, like how Ayaka had grown to expect from her, sword at the waist and empty smile on the lips.

It was without a doubt the same Kanao as always, thinking of her carrying that damn coin made a burning feeling churn her insides. Kanao shouldn't need it, not when she was infinitely superior to her, Ayaka knew she was better than that. It would be like carrying shishou's groceries when he was able to crash rocks with his bare hands, completely ridiculous and nonsensical.