Moonlight Waves

Melodious Song

Lunch stretched into the evening and by the time I thought we were finally finished, more rum and food was being passed around. I had to stop eating long ago or I would never be able to get up and walk again. Everybody else seems hardly concerned with that as they shove more food into their mouths.
I stand up from the bench and stretch, listening to Captain Cutler relay a story of skillfully sailing through a hurricane and coming out without a scratch on The Hangman when she suddenly changes the subject. Leaning past Captain Dax and talking loudly over the chaos of the table to Si.
"Miss Sigrún," She says, "Charles tells me you're from Herrain too. The governor's daughter at that!"
Si's head jerks up and she sets down the glass of rum she's been sipping on for the last three hours and looks blankly at Captain Cutler for a second before answering her.
"Umm, yes, that's right. Are you familiar with Herrain?"
"Familiar?" She laughs, "I grew up there—even served in their navy. It's when Crescent Island and Herrain teamed up against Layshmen when I meat old, sourpuss Charles here." She slaps Captain Dax on the arm playfully, "Though I suppose you weren't quite as old then."
"Neither were you," Captain Dax says, "we were both just young deck hands at the time."
Captain Cutler's cheeks turn to light pink, that has nothing to do with the cooling temperature, and she quickly turns back to Si.
"Funny," she says, tapping the side of her head with a finger, "I don't remember the governor having a daughter, I do remember him having three sons though."
"I'm the youngest and my father didn't take me to many public gatherings, he didn't think I was ever presentable enough." Si responds.
"Huh." Captain Cutler muses, "What were your brother's names again? I remember the oldest one is Wyatt and the second one....was....oh, what's his name?"
Si looks at her for a split second before answering, "Jeremiah. And then there's Sam."
"Yes," Captain Cutler says, not taking her eyes off of Si, "yes, that's right."
They seem to have a staring contest for a minute before Captain Cutler turns quickly away and strikes up a conversation with Ian across from her.
"I'm going to go back to the Moonlighter and try to rest while no one's snoring yet." I tell Si, Robby, and Charlie.
"I'll come with you." Charlie says.
"I think I'll come too." Si adds.
"You can stay here in one of the tree houses." Captain Cutler offers, breaking away from her conversation with Ian for a second.
"Thanks, but I'd rather go back to the Moonlighter." I answer.
"Suit yourself." She says and turns back to Ian.
When we make it back to the ship, I immediately go down to my hammock and curl up, feeling bloated from all the food. I kick off my boots and close my heavy eyelids, grateful for the sleep that claims my tired mind and body.

When I wake, the world is still dark but far from silent. The hustle and bustle coming from both above and below deck tells me that they're preparing to leave. I grab my pack and head to the corner where some of the men hung up a blanket for us girls, to give us some privacy, and change into my tunic and trousers. I French braid my hair back and pull on a green knitted cap over my head to ward off the chilly autumn morning.
I step up above deck and run straight into Ian.
"Morning." I greet.
"Morning," He says back and points up at the still dark sky and the clouds moving speedily towards the north. "We're going to make good time to Layshmen—the wind is with us."
He doesn't wait for a response before turning to go finish whatever he was doing.
   I turn to see The Hangman coming up alongside us with it's sails hung low and the wind filling them. Captain Cutler stands on the poop deck and gives us a sloppy salute as they sail on past us.
   "Anchors away!" Captain Dax hollers and the grinding of the anchor being pulled up from the seabed fills the morning air. A moment later the sails are rolled out and fastened, and The Moonlighter starts it's course after The Hangman.
  "Nereida," Ian says, coming back over to me, "Captain says you are to take Dani's spot in the crows nest."
   "What happened to Dani?" I ask, looking up at the empty nest.
  "He's not feeling well," Ian answers, "I think he ate too much yesterday. He's moaning like a stuffed pig."
   "Oh, all right." I say with pity and head for the rope ladder that leads up the mast to the crows nest. I've been up here plenty of times before, but I still get a little dizzy looking down. I'm not scared of heights. I'm just scared of what will happen if I fall.
   The wind grabs at my thin jacket and I try to wrap it around me tighter, wishing I had put on a heavier one. I shrug off the cold and sit down, knowing that as soon as the sun comes overhead it'll be warm again.
I peer through the early morning fog and watch the Hangman break through the waves. She's not that far ahead of us, only a couple hundred yards. I can tell Captain Dax is pacing the Moonlighter— the Moonlighter is built for speed and the Hangman for battle. Each ship forfeits one thing to gain the other.
    The sun slowly climbs into the sky and I keep changing my position in the crows nest, my legs getting tired of doing nothing. I fiddle with splinters of wood or twirl my knife between my hands, while watching the horizon for anything out of the ordinary, but everything stays the same.
I begin to fantasize about Roman. About him proposing, how he'll do it, what cheesy romantic thing he'll say, where he'll do it... A smile spreads across my face and I bite my lip to try and keep myself from grinning so maniacally, but it's hopeless. Every thought I have revolves around Roman, and impossible fantasies fill my mind, and they make me so very happy.
It's a good thing no one can see me up here, they'd think I've lost it.
I shake my head in a effort to become serious again, but I end up grinning again. I press my lips into a straight line and clear my throat, narrowing my eyes at the horizon. And end up letting out a loud snort/laugh. I press a hand over my mouth as laughter threatens to erupt from my mouth.
Yep. I've gone mad. No question about it. I am officially off my rocker, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for checking.
I clamp both hands against my mouth as my body shakes with quiet laughter and tears sting my eyes I'm laughing so hard. By now a few people are looking up with concerned eyes and I try to wave them off. Robby stands staring up at me with hands on his hips, trying to figure out what's going on.
"You all right?" He calls up. More of the crew stop to look up at me. I don't trust my voice enough to answer him out loud so I shoot my hand up with a thumbs up. I press my lips together and more snickers erupt from my mouth, I shake my head and press a hand to my side, trying to calm my breathing too.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Laugh.
Sigrún has joined Robby in watching me and both of them are laughing now too, laughing at me and having no idea why I'm laughing so hard. I don't even know why I'm laughing so hard.
"What's so funny?" Robby calls, wiping a hand across his face as he chuckles.
I shrug my shoulders in answer and start laughing again. My side starts to hurt and I lean against the railing of the nest, desperately trying to reclaim control of my own humor.
"You're crazy!" Robby hollers, waving a hand at me before walking off back to his duties. Sigrún and the others watch for a second longer before leaving too.
Slowly my breathing begins to slow and I let out a long breathe. I watch The Hangman in front of us and my mind goes back to our predicament. My gaze wonders over the expanse of the big, blue sea and for the first time since setting sail from home, I'm afraid that we'll never find him out here. It's so big, so many places for them to go, for them to hide. Helplessness and hopelessness settles upon my chest like the waves I am staring at are drowning me, crushing me.
I begin to cry—hard. Sobs rack my body and I curl my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees. I try to breathe through my mouth as my sinuses are plugged from my crying, and I don't want anybody to hear my crying. I hate crying in front of people. I'm an ugly crier and it makes me feel too vulnerable, too weak. They all saw me cry at the docks, but that was different. There it was expected, but here, I have no reason for it. Here they're just pathetic tears of a teenage girl.
I desperately wipe the tears from my cheeks and wipe my nose with my sleeve. I turn my eyes to the sky and try to blink the tears back, but they continue to fall. Why do I cry like this now? Why not when I was alone in my room? I hate that I'm a mess like this now.
No one has looked up at me or seems to notice I'm crying yet and I try to keep it that way. Stifling my sobs and breathing slowly through my mouth.
Eventually, just like the maniacal laughter, the crying stops and I'm left sniffling quietly. It's just the stress catching up with me, I tell myself and wipe my nose again. I need something to distract me, I've been sitting idle for too long, both my mind and body need something to do.
I think of all the songs I know, singing being the best option I can come up with. I'm not a good singer, in fact, I was awful. But consistent practice made me a decent singer at least. I choose one of the slow sailor songs I know and start singing softly.