Wolf Stray (On Hold)

Books

Things seemed to go smoothly for a bit. The air was a little awkward but that was to be expected. Asher spent most of his time in his room, coming out occasionally to eat. Batraz was busy enough. He did have work after all. He was on the war council and they had been making arrangements lately to find and destroy the pack of lizards that had attacked Asher. There was no real way of knowing what pack had done it, so in true wolf fashion they had decided to systematically wipe out every pack within a 50 mile radius. It had been Batraz's job to put together the hunting party's since they had sent out multiple. Usually the Alpha would have gone out with them but having adopted Asher only recently he didn't want to just leave. The wolfling showed no interest in talking but he still needed somebody available.
The boy seemed be interested in two things.
Reading and sleeping.
On the third day staying with Batraz, Asher had approached him hesitantly and, fumbling over his words, had shyly asked for permission to read the books on the shelf in the living room.
Batraz had informed him that he didn't need permission. Of course he could read the books.
"If you tell me what kind of books you like I can get more." The man had offered.
"These are fine." Asher had stated before choosing a book off the shelf and hiding himself away to read it.
He had read most of them by now. Even the ones that seemed boring and dry he devoured like a starved man.
"Is that a good book?" The man would asked trying to start a conversation.
And Asher would nod silently.
"What's it about?"
The boy had frowned at him.
"It's your book. Haven't you read it?"

So no. Asher wasn't much of a talker. Batraz often wondered about what his life had been like living with his father.
He had gone back to have a look at the house and he honestly been shocked.
The kitchen table, the counters, and the floor beside every chair, had liquor bottles strewn across them cluttering the space. The house had been dirty and smelled strongly of mold. Navigating his way to Asher's old room he had looked inside. Apart from a bunk bed and a dresser the room was empty. The bed only had a old and shapeless pillow and no blankets.
He knew he shouldn't but curiosity got the better of him and he opened the drawers to the dresser to have a look. They had some clothes in them but mostly old items that that were much too small for Asher now.
And all Asher had brought with him was a change of clothes, a picture of his mother, a comb, and the clothes on his back.
Was this really all he owned?
There wasn't a single book in the entire house. And the only food in the house had been some bread and moldy cheese.

Maybe the wolfling's lack of enthusiasm stemmed from a lack of energy because of malnutrition. Batraz had set his jaw as tightly as his heart had clenched.
He was going to give this kid everything!
He would buy him a whole library and feed him every different kinds of food he could think of! Anything the boy wanted he could have it! Surely by now he had earned the right to be a bit selfish.
How had nobody noticed before?
How could a boy live like this without a single person knowing?
How had he himself not noticed?
He had been hot with a feeling of guilt. He should have noticed.

∆∆∆∆

Asher sat curled up on his bed reading the newest book he had found. Well... He was trying to read it. He couldn't focus on it. There was this feeling inside of him that he had been ignoring for a while now. It seemed today it was determined to claw its way out of him.
No! He thought to himself. It's all in your head Asher. Just don't think about it and read your damn book.
But his stomach was twisting and his throat felt tight. There was a constant ringing in his ears and a buzzing in his brain.
He refocused his eyes on the page before him but he only managed to read a few lines before all the words blurred together and he couldn't remember what it was he had just read. He clapped the book shut with much more force than was necessary and smacked it against his head. It didn't really hurt but it stung enough to reassociate himself for a moment.
"I need a glass of water." He whispered to himself. He forced himself to walk rather than sprint to the kitchen and he pored himself a glass of water. Leaning the back of his hips against the counter he drank it slowly.
It was both too cold and not cold enough.
After he was finished he slowly, hesitantly, approached the door that lead to Batraz's office. The door was cracked open and he paused outside for a moment.
I'll be bothering him. He thought to himself. He's busy. Just leave him alone.
But another voice sounded in his mind. It was louder than the first.
But I'm scared. I'm scared!
He gently pushed the door open a little more and looked inside.
Batraz was at his desk shifting through papers. Occasionally he would pause and read something and then note something down.
Asher didn't know what do to. Maybe he should leave. Batraz looked busy.
But I'm scared!!
It was too loud now and he couldn't ignore it.
"S-sir?" He spoke so quietly. Part of him hoped Batraz wouldn't hear him and he could still run away. But the wolf immediately looked up and there was a moment of silence. Just a single second but it felt like eons as the boy stood in the doorway.
"Asher. Hey. Are you ok?"
The wolfling nodded.
"Y-yes I just uhm...I- I- I just uhm..."
He felt heat rise up his neck and into his face.
Great Asher. Why don't you break down and cry while you're at it!
But Batraz wasn't a fool. He had noticed the slight crease in Asher's brow, how he was biting down on his bottom lip, and how his ears where layed flat against his head.
Why is he scared?
But he didn't dare voice the question. Asher might bolt.
"You can come in Asher. I'm not all that busy at the moment."
The boy finally met his eyes.
"You're not?"
He sounded almost desperate.
"No. Not really. And none of it's things I want to do so any and all distractions are welcome." He grinned as he said it and some of the tension seeped out of the young wolf and he stepped fully into the room now.
"I was just- well I was reading but I was just a little uhm... Well. I was in my room but- but- but uhm... I guess I was a little bit- a little..."
He doesn't want to admit he's scared. Batraz thought.
"A bit... Lonely maybe?" He offered.
Asher, seeing a way around admitting to his nearly crippling anxiety, grabbed onto the offered lifeline.
"Yeah. I guess so."
Batraz smiled easily.
"You know funny thing. I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to bother you."
Asher laughed a little at that.
"Yeah me to."

So Asher managed to finish his book in Batraz's office while Batraz finished his work; then they sat and talked about all kinds of things but mostly nothing in particular.
Asher felt his anxiety seeping away just being in the same room with the larger wolf.
The man made him feel safe. Safe like he hadn't felt since before his mother and brothers died.
What he actually wanted was to curl up close to him the way he had curled up close to his mother so long ago; but he still had his pride.
Batraz felt some of his own anxiety leave him. Because he had been uncharacteristically anxious lately as he had thought maybe Asher resented him for having his father kicked from the pack. But he felt better about it now. Asher sat in one of the chairs talking quietly as he told a Betraz about the book he had just read but the man was only half listening. Asher's ears were relaxed.
He's never seen that before. They usually stood straight up and sometimes, such as earlier, they pinned back against his head. But now they were relaxed.
He feels safe. I make him feel safe.
The thought made him feel warm but protective all over again.
I'll never hurt you Asher. I'll protect you. I swear even if I die I'll protect you. Because you deserve it. You're so innocent. Nobody will ever get away with hurting you ever again.
But Asher was entirely unaware of this inner duologue and as he continued to talk about his book he noted Batraz's body language.
A small smile and slightly lifted ears.
He's listening to me. The thought made his chest ache with emotion. He's actually listening to me.