Veiled Echoes

C H A P T E R 17

Quite a long chapter, but definitely worth it! Something exciting happens near the end ;)

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— xoxo

AIDEN

"You know when my mother was doing her PhD, she had explained to me the meaning of nihilism," I started, glancing over to Hana, who swivelled her beautiful gaze to capture the scenery at the park. "It made me wonder about the possibilities of life."

Now I had her attention because she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth—those impossibly soft lips that had been haunting me since the day of the arcade—and she let out a low hum.

"I think the belief that life is ultimately meaningless, with no objective truth, morality, or values... is quite interesting," she said, looking up at me.

There was a light in her eyes, a sparkle I hadn't seen in a while.

I arched my brows. "How so?"

Hana clapped her hands, and the sparkle in her eyes brightened further. "I mean, a true nihilist believes in nothing, absolutely nothing. This means they'd have no loyalties, no other purpose—nothing but perhaps an impulse to destroy, because why not?"

Then her brows furrowed as she stared off into the distance—before she looked back at me.

"Although, there are people who use nihilism as an excuse to not try. They believe that if life is truly meaningless, why bother trying? Shit could go south either way." Her nose wrinkled further, and she added, "I can't stand people like that."

I chuckled at the adorable pout she had. "Is it not easier to believe in that, though? People who have seen the worst—it's a crutch for them to potentially live on."

I stared up at the sun, letting my own words sink in my head.

At the young age of twenty, I had considered it. Was my life truly stagnant, with no actual meaning? Everything seemed to revolve around volleyball and my family. But maybe it was me—I never really let anyone in. I mean, I'm outgoing and surrounded by my friends, yet the feeling of belonging never quite settled in.

"I don't think believing in nothing can get you through something, though," she mumbled, still chewing on her lip. "Choosing nothing when you could choose anything—that's the part I can't stand."

I watched her for a beat longer and then down at my hands, at the callus I had gotten from volleyball.

"Sounds like you believe in something," I mumbled, the corners of my mouth twitching upwards.

Do you believe in us?

It was unintentional. It had to have been. Because her eyes went to my lips and lingered there for a beat before blinking back up at me.

Was I imagining this?

Hana cleared her throat, moving her attention back to the people, and took a deep breath. Her chest rose and fell, a gentle moment that caught my eyes. I immediately removed my eyes, willing myself to stop being a pervert.

"Maybe I do... I'm not too sure anymore," she said, exhaling.

I leaned back on my elbows, tilting my face to the sun as its warmth softened the chill in the breeze. It was a beautiful day—with a beautiful woman beside me.

But as she turned away to open her laptop again, my mind drifted—back to the thing that never left me.

I couldn't help but think about what Coach Aarnav had said. Indeed, it was a criticism, but the feeling of not being able to get out of my head was worrying me.