Random Things I Write

3-You Threw It All Away

I've called you an idiot for a lot of things,but this is by far the dumbest thing you've done.

You were her number one. If she as much as had a feeling something was wrong she'd check in on you. Whenever you had something going on,she dropped everything just to be there. I'll never forget how pissed off she always gets when she hears something happened to you. You were her first priority,but you never prioritised her.

Every time you lied to her,she knew. Whenever you kept important information from her and someone else would tell her,she felt hurt...betrayed. Its the little things you did,that often hurt her the most. She felt,and still does feel you don't trust her,that she somehow messed up. You should know that doing that won't end well. She would overthink things,decide its all her fault and sulk and feel bad about it for weeks afterwards.

You have no idea how much it bothers her when you avoid her,dodge her questions and shut her out. It messes with her.....badly,and no matter how many times she told you about that you would shrug it off,it sure seemed that way.

Did you forget the promises you made each other,cause I can promise you she never did. Promises to her,aren't things she takes lightly. You promised you'd tell each other everything. You promised that no matter what you would never shut her out. You promised each other that you would always keep her near,right by your side. And you broke these promises. Every. Single. One.

The worst one of all. You promised she'd be the one,the only one in your heart. You broke that promise too,and having broken that...you broke her.

She never complained about what you did. She kept it all to herself,even when she told her friends about it she shrugged it off as it being ok,that she didn't mind. As you went off with some other girl, she still pretended like it didn't bother her at all.

She stood by you,and in the things she did was how she told the world she loved you. Everyone around you two could see it,except for you.

You were the only person she ever held hands with. She often planned things for you two to do together,and you often cancelled late minute or even not respond when she asked. Her eyes always looked at you with all the love and adoration in the world. She wrote songs about you and so much more....

She did so much for you,made sure you always  felt loved and safe with her. The thank you she got? You shutting her out,breaking promises and ignoring her feelings with most interactions you have with each other.

She's sensitive and a handful. You are the only one aware of every single flaw of hers. Despite knowing exactly what bothers her,knowing what keeps her up at night,almost knowing everything about her! You never realised how much she trusted you. Trust that you earned with your heartwarming smile and gentle eyes.

You broke your promises. Made her feel all sorts of emotions. Kept her up at night. Despite all this,she never left you. She was understanding at all times,and not once let her emotions leak out.

You didn't realize how good you had it,did you? You never realised just how much she loved you,let me correct that. How much she loves you. Despite everything you did to her,everything you made her go through.

She gave you her everything. A risk she was willing to take with you,and it didn't end well. Cause now she stands by and watches you look at another girl with love in your eyes. Let another girl into the heart you said she had. Every single day a part of her dies,and she hides it all from everyone,even you.

It took ages before she told me,when she did she couldn't stop crying,you were her everything,and just like that you took it all for granted and lost a good one. Hope your happy,cause she sure isn't.

People like her are hard to find,rare gems in this world. You are a lucky guy,and didn't realise it.

I'm pissed off. As she sat in front of me balling her eyes out because of you,she kept telling me to let it go. That I should leave things as they are,cause she doesn't want to ruin your happiness.

I don't know how you're so blind,how you managed to do something this stupid. And frankly I don't care...ok I care a little. Just know if you can live a happy life and care for her while never forgetting to treat the queen of your heart well,she'll somehow be ok. In a broken hearted way, she'll be ok.

Signed

~Yuki