30 Reasons To Die [#1]

Reason 23 || Uma ||

Dedicated to @blackraven- because apparently we are BFF's now and we are learning to code together, so yeah that's cool.

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BIG NEWS FOR 30RTD:

THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL CALLED 30RTD! hahah, it's going to be called 30 Reactions To Death and you will be seing each person's reation to Cath's letter. Sadly some may be crying others may just throw it away. You never know! It will be published as soon as this book ends (which is in 7 reasons +1 epilogue :( )

Song for the Reason: Uma Thurman by Fall Out Boy (i mean look at the title haha)

Reason 23 || Uma ||

Well I'm guessing you all remember Jackson.

Sweet old, Jackson who managed to bite the dust earlier than me. The one we wouldn't be able to find unless we went along with her.

Well, someone else went with her.

And it wasn't me. It was Uma.

Doesn't it feel so bad to see people who had smiled at you in the hallways just days ago are now dead and sitting in a casket under the ground?

It feels so bad. Because sometimes I wish I could save everybody. But if I save everybody, then who saves me?

No one does.

Jackson used a rope.
Uma used a knife.

Do you remember the letter I sent Jackson?

I had written my suicide plannings in here.

And as I reach the 30th letter, I will not be sparing any gory details.

I plan to use pills.

I will do it during lunch.

I will go to the same stall I always go too.

I will eat 20 pills, that should be enough.

I should scatter the letters in their packets on the floor and leave the bathroom door that I had become so fond of, slightly ajar.

I know that in a few moments, the paparazzi will come to take pictures.

They think their getting a photo of me throwing up but no. I'm leaving with a photo they will never forget.

A dead girl.

The plan is foolproof. Everyone will receive their packet of letters. I will finally die.

I just wish these eight letters were done already.

Because I know that:

Uma is happily resting in heaven. She is no longer battling the raging war against depression.

Jackson is peacefully resting in heaven. Where she no longer feels the pain of society anymore.

And then there's me. I'm still living on earth. I am living in the most hellish way possible. I am trying to get to feel no pain and feel peaceful in this shithole called life. I'm really trying.

Uma, you and Jackson are brave. Killing yourselves without thinking to write letters. I mean I could be dead already. We could be dancing in heaven right now. Because I want to dance like Uma Thurman and bury me till I confess.

Uma, you were a brave soul and thank you for teaching me how to kill myself, effortlessly and painlessly.

Love,

Cath who is almost the walking dead