three of a kind.

25.

August 19, 1995

there was a long waiting period between the end of the first trial and the scheduled date for the retrial, and i was stuck playing the long game. i struggled to recall what it felt like to breath in without feeling like there's a ton of bricks weighing my chest down. the day of the trial approached us more quickly than we'd anticipated, and we were running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to wrap up loose ends.

the second trial was heavily restricted, and we couldn't seem to figure out what we were going to present without it being thrown out. the defense had decided that since they were excluding most of the boy's family members from the second trial, that i would be the key witness. therefore, i had to meet with the boys and leslie abrhamson this afternoon to discuss what i would be allowed to talk about. 

i walked outside of the jail house, panning my eyes around the perimeter for wild blonde curls. i eventually stopped on leslie who was grabbing her papers and briefcase out of the passenger side of her car. 

"my girl!" leslie hollered at me as our eyes met, marching to wrap me in her embrace.

"my favorite fireball." i greeted back jokingly, embracing the woman's broad shoulders. 

leslie and i began walking towards the doors, chitchatting back and forth about the events of the last several months. i wasn't looking forward to debriefing the details of my upcoming testimony, but it was borrowed time that i could spend with the boys. 

the guards opened the doors to the cells where we would meet with them, and upon locking eyes with erik i melted. it had been three weeks since i'd last met with him, and it felt like it had droned on forever. 

i didn't wait for the guard to walk away this time before i lurched onto him, smiling ear to ear as i took in his scent. "sorry, i couldn't resist."

he chuckled, lifting my feet from the cold floor as he swayed back and forth. "well, i'm pretty irresistible."

i heard the rattle of chains behind me as lyle entered our meeting cell, "stop before i vomit." he teased.

i grinned as we met eyes, him softening at my appearance. "you're irresistible too menendez, i suppose. though blue is not your color."

"yeah, yeah."he scoffed, clinging to me for dear life, "you try to pull this off."

i chuckled, shaking my head. it became sort of our thing to joke about the horridly unfashionable jumpsuits, and to call their handcuffs tennis bracelets. it was a lighthearted way to make jokes out of the unfortunate circumstances we found ourselves in; it still killed me though, seeing them like that. 

we sat at the table, leslie sprawling out copious amounts of notes in front of us. i scanned the endless sheets of paper, dread welling up through my body. the thought of starting this process again was revolting. i'd been going through forty cigarettes a day by now, the tension was inordinate. 

"okay rose," leslie sighed, turning her attention to me, "no pressure, but this case is riding on your testimony."

"is that supposed to make me less worried?"

i saw erik smirk out of the corner of my eye. he wasn't worried about my testimony, but i was. the two people i loved most's lives were hanging in the balance of this trial, and if i got on that witness stand and made one wrong statement it could mean death for them. i couldn't deal with the pressure of that. they had too much faith in me. 

"well in literal terms it's supposed to worry you." she responded, "i'm sorry but this is going to be intense, you can do it though."

"leslie can i speak to you in private for a minute?" i asked, beginning to spiral in my emotions.