a/n: ok this is one of the most devastating songs i've ever heard so i obviously had to write this lol. sorry lance. 'Is it just me?' - Emily Burns
Word count: 519
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You wondered how Lance was feeling. Your break up had been less than easy. You missed him more than you could ever explain and you constantly picked the fading thread of your cardigan sleeve in an attempt to distract yourself.
You thought it must have been way too long for you to still find it this hard, and you knew it was cruel but you were hoping he at least felt the same so that you knew it wasn't for nothing.
You wondered if Lance's heart stopped at parties when people mentioned your name. You'd been together for five years, you had become so integrated into his life you couldn't remember what your life was like before it. You had loved every second and you were finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that it had ended. You didn't know if he was hurting but he must be. Or was it just you?
You were tongue tied when people asked what had happened between the two of you. Screaming on the inside, tempted to tell them about you crying in the shower like a freak to help them understand just how torn you were.
You had felt sick and the tears had instantly appeared when you heard a rumour that Lance was starting to spend time with a blonde girl that he worked with. She was in the garage with him, and much like Angela with Lewis, she was with him wherever he went. She was exactly his type and you couldn't blame him. Your miserable mind running wild with the picture of them being together so often and yet you also hoped that he was there by himself dialing and redialing your number over and over again while he made up his mind to let it ring or not.
You still watched all his race weekends, over analyzing his every movement to see if he was hurting as much as you thought he must be. Or if it really was just you? You noticed that Lance was not his usual self, more reserved and cordoned off, only Esteban, and some of his fans that you followed on twitter, seemed to notice. You were glad he had them. Interviews seemed painful and yet you assumed it couldn't possibly be because of you. He was over you, he was seeing the girl from work. Right?
You wondered if his friends have to carry him home and stay for the night because they don't want to leave him alone, in the same way that none of your friends had thought to do. It used to be fun but now it seemed to be becoming an issue.
As you watched Lance complete another interview, pain that only you could see etched across his face and a dull ache spreading from your chest as you watched him walk away from the camera, your phone from on the coffee table illuminated the room you were sitting in. Your breath hitched in your throat when you read the message you had received
