The Secrets Of A Christian Girl

Chapter three: Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

The next few days went by like a blur. Not much really happened. I tried my best to pray to God. I felt like He wasn't really listening to me since, I wanted to turn my back on Him and, wanted to be an atheist. I felt like He wasn't trying to rescue me from this type of feeling that I've had ever since I was a little girl. I felt like God was angry and upset with me. And, that hurt me to my very core. But, whatever.
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When I got home, I jumped on my laptop and started to watch MPGIS (Most Popular Girls' In School.) I didn't pray to God when I got home, I just watched YouTube; like I always did. I didn't really feel any true motivation to pray. Didn't really think I needed to anyways. But, let my mom tell it, you need to "always" pray, "No matter what." I honestly didn't want to pray. Nor, did I feel the need to ether. So, praying was whatever to me right now since, I felt that God wasn't really listening to them anyways. Why would he?
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On Monday at school, I wore my cutest (and pinkest,) outfit since it was only 86 degrees here in LA. (I live and grew up in Beverly Hills, in a very nice mansion though.) I just went to class and walked through the day as I normally did. I didn't really pray that much today. Once again, didn't want to. I just didn't understand why I was a Christian in the first place. Maybe it was because, I thought that's what my parents wanted? Or, maybe because I just wanted Jesus to be proud of me? Whatever the reason, I was sure enough tired of having to act like the "perfect" Christian daughter that my parents wanted me to be. I didn't wanna live like this anymore. To be honest, I was pretty sick of it. I felt that I was lying to God, Jesus, my family, my friends, and most importantly, myself. It made me feel dirty, unwanted, and, like a huge lair. Y'know, I just wish that God would've given me a better life and wouldn't have had or let my dad abuse me. While, my mom just sat back and, let it happen. But, that's a different story for another day anyways, I guess. I guess that's why they call it, "Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire." Right?

To be continued.....