Letters to Audrine

19- I Miss Him So Much

"I owe you an apology."

I never in my entire life, ever, thought that I would hear those words coming out of my mom's mouth. I almost don't believe it's her on the phone, or maybe she's being held at gunpoint. Should I call the police? Something is seriously wrong.

"What?" I ask dumbly into the phone.

"I'm sorry, Maisie," she sighs, clearly very unhappy with having to apologize. Ever since I upset her, our calls have been awkward and short or nonexistent and I would instead talk to my father or my brother. "I think you were right, when you said that I haven't considered your feelings in the past."

"Wow," is all that I can think to say.

"I just want what's best for you so badly, and I guess that I just assumed that we wanted the same things and never thought to ask you," she admits to me. I wonder if maybe my dad wrote this out on a piece of paper for her to read like a script, so that she wouldn't mess up this apology. "I should have listened to you more."

"Thank you, Mom," I say slowly, still trying to process what she's saying. She's always so stubborn and always convinced that she's right. I can't think of one time where she's ever apologized or admitted that she was wrong at anything. "I wasn't expecting this."

"Well, I was thinking that maybe when you get home, we can go dorm shopping together instead of me just picking everything out," my mom suggests to me. "I know that you don't really care what your room looks like, but it'll be a good way to spend some time together, and I can work on listening to you more."

"That sounds good," I lie. The thought of shopping for my dorm room sounds terrible, but I can tell that she's trying and I can appreciate that. The idea of having some time to talk to her, where she's actually listening to me, could be really good for us.

"Good," she sounds relieved on the other end of the phone. "You know I'm not good at this."

"I know," I confirm with a small laugh. "You're doing good though."

"I just love you so much, Maisie," she says, "And the thought that I'd lose you because I've been too controlling, or if you'd grow to resent me. I hate that being a possibility."

"I love you too, Mom."

"This was a good talk," she sounds very happy now. "We'll talk more later, but I have a meeting soon that I need to prepare for. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow," I confirm, feeling relieved that she ended the phone call because I didn't want to be the one to do so, even though I have plans too and needed to get off of the phone.

Audrine offered to take me somewhere today. That's all the information that she gave me, so I'm very curious about where we'll be going. She didn't mention Silas at all, so I'm not sure if he's invited on our trip or not.

Once I'm off the phone with my mom, I make sure that everything I need is in my purse before I leave my hotel room to meet Audrine at the restaurant. She didn't say anything about the type of occasion that this is, so I just wear a pair of jean shorts and a new blouse that I'd bought at one of the boutiques in town.

Inside the restaurant, I'm greeted by Silas standing behind the bakery counter. It hits me with a feeling of déjà vu, because that's exactly where he was standing the first day I'd come into this restaurant. That day, I was so nervous that I didn't even realize how breathtakingly beautiful and complex he was.

"Bonjour," I greet him with a smile. He returns my smile and then leans over the counter to peck my lips with a small kiss. "Wow, the customer service here is astounding," I say jokingly.