When I heard Bob was into Pageants I made sure that my little girl, Magnolia was into Pageants to. I know it was selfish, but she really did seem to enjoy them.
We were at Miss Salty Grits and bob was here with Dixie as her Pageant coach.
As the girls were getting ready for their interviews I decided to say hello to my old friend.
"Hey, I wanted to wish y'all luck." I exclaimed as I walked over to their station. I gave both Regina and Dixie a peck, then turned to bob.
"bob." I said feeling tingles in my moth by just saying his name. I shock his hand and felt sparks fly. I wondered if he felt them to because he tried to retract his hand, but I held on to dear life, but then I remembered our situation and let go.
"Good luck to you and Magnolia too." his sweet voice filled my ears and I quietly sighed in pleasure. My wife, EttaMae called me over because it was time for the interview.
As usual Magnolia performed beautifully, but Dixie on the other hand. She was a different story. She thought ISIS was gelato. I could hear bob groan. Other than the fact my pants had tighten, I was not that happy about this. Poor bob getting suck with this doofus.
When Magnolia got crowned I was very happy, but I wasn't overjoyed because my poor bob was in dismay. I looked over to him and he was looking at me too. My heart started betting, but then I realized it was only to give me a fake congrats. We exchange a thumbs up, and that was it.
That was until Regina decided to run on stage and make things... interesting?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She ran on stage and yelled. "I demand a rematch. She was disturbed by that man. He touched her hoo-hoo."
Everyone in the audience gasped in shock except for me. At first I felt jealous of the girl. I wish he wold touch my hoo-hoo. Then I felt mad at myself. This girl got molested and you're jealous of her, that's evil. Then I felt stupid because obviously bob wasn't a molester. Than finally I felt mad at Regina accusing my bob at such a thing.
Skip three mouths later.
I was finally on a case with bob. I was ecstatic. I had a reason to see my bob. Better yet, bob had decided not to go the easy way on this case, no no no no. He wanted to play the not guilty, and I was a-okay with that because it meant more time with him.
After my mourning run I walked into my office, pleasantly surprised to see bob waiting for me.
We started talking and I told him, "I'm not dropping to the cause." I took off my shirt. I loved taking my clothes off around bob.
He looked away at first but his glaze came crawling back too me. "Why not it was self defense."
"Well my witness tells me another story."
"What witness? Who?" He was so cute when he was confused.
"Oh, you didn't know." I clicked my teeth and walked over to him. I got real close and said, "The clerk at Booze and Stuff said he saw her strike first."
I then told him to cop a plea, but I prayed he didn't. It was fun being against him again, in court that is.
I gave him a wink and patted his shoulder as he left.
When I got home to day I found Coralee talking my wife. That bitch. At first I had made sure that my wife hadn't been friends with Coralee, but after a while I realize the more time she spent with Coralee the more time I spent with bob.
I tongued Ette Mae (pretending it was bob of course) and left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We were going to bob and the bitches annual cancer thing after we got Magnolia qualified for the Miss Magic Jesus pageant.
When we got there I announced it to the whole room even though my bob was making a toast.
Coralee stood up and started chatting with us and I was about to suggest we sit down until bob said, "Honey, will you-" I was mad. I hate when he called her honey.
Then he exploded. He went on and on about my tan and blah blah blah, but I felt happy. He was getting mad over people other than him getting my attention. Tehehe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We were in court today. I was winking at the jury, and smiling and working my charm when my bob stood up. "The defense calls up, Donald Choi." I was surprised. My baby was calling my witness, interesting.
"What do you remember about that night."
"I don't remember anything. I'm sorry."
I was shocked. I was also mad. This little shit lied and I was mad about that. I don't like to loose, even when it's to my bob.
Now it was Patty's turn. (She the defendant)
"He verbally abused me... etc" (I'm lazy, you get the point.)
Then it was my turn to go.
"Are you a violent person Miss Bladle."
"No, no defiantly not."
"Then why would you try to to hit him. Was it because he was trying to take your food?"
"Yeah, Fatty Patty threw a punch to protect her chocolate." I smirk. Got her, until, "Are you saying I deserved what happened to me just because I was fat?"
"No no no no no." i defended myself and looked over to bob who look intrigued.
"Because I didn't. And if you're saying then you're telling every single overweight teenager in America to just shut up and take even if means getting punched in the face. And that's not the message I would want to put out there. Would you your honor?" she turned towards the obviously smitten judge.
Crap ! I lost. Then I saw something that made ME want to punch her in the face.
Patty then gave me a evil smirk, and than gave my bob a flirty look. That slut, I'll slit her throat. I quickly calmed myself down, and focused on, not her.
I suddenly had the insatiable need to take down Patty, because if they're was going to be a slut in my bob's life, it was going to be me.
Ok so I know this chapter was a little weird, but if you haven't guessed I'm going based on episodes of the show, so some chapters may be long, and some might be super short.
Rereading this I realized that I might've made Bob out to be kinda obsessive, but I like it and don't give a shit and if you don't then don't read it. JUST KIDDING PLEASE DO!!!
