Miss Magic bob

470 9 2

by yogurt342

by yogurt342

I had the time of my life. I never felt like this before. Those words are the words I would sing at our wedding. If we ever had a wedding, which we probably would not.

I know it happened a fat second ago, but I love him and that was our moment. I will pray to gay Jesus every night, for the rest of my life just to be in my bob's arms again, like when we were wrestling.

I heard at the door and I got up to answer, only find my bob there looking distressed. "OMG, OMG, OH MY GOD!!!" I gave him a puzzled look.

"What?"

"You slept with STELLA ROSE!!!" I froze as I got a flash back to 20 years ago. (That's probably not accurate.)

Flashback ------------------------------------------

I was in a bar drinking to my "marriage" it was my bachelor party, and everyone was to drunk to even see straight, so I started looking around the bar hoping to find a man to drown away my sorrows with. That's when she walked into my life.

Stella Rose was not a beauty, but I knew that she was with my bob, or was with my bob. I walked straight up to her and slapped her.

"Howwwww dareee youuuu," I slurred wobbling closer towards her, "ifffff anyone isss goingggg to helpppp my MY bobbb cheat, it sssshould be meeee."

She looked at my with ruined mascara, and glossy eyes.

"You can have him, it's not like he wants me anyway." That's when it hit my intoxicated mind. He dumped her. YES!

Then everything went to shit when she kissed me.

"Yo, yo, yo. Girl, what are you doing!"

"Shut up, if you want, I'l give it to you the way he gave it to me." I froze. The change to at least imagine what my bob would be like in bed. I should probably not take the offer, but I couldn't help it. I was to curious.

And that's when it all happened.

Back to reality-------------------------------------------

"How did you-"

"The locket."

"Oh." I paused. This was, god what have I done. Stella Rose was not worth it. She ended breaking down in the middle of the night, and to cheer her up I bought her locket, which I engraved... with my name.

"Why- what- how-"

"When you ended things with her she tracked me down and seduced me."

"What how is that getting back at me?"

"Oh please, sleeping guy you hated since high school." I rolled my eyes and felt my heart tremble admitted that he hated me.

"Hate is a strong word-"

"Come on bob, everyone knows that you hate me." I interrupted him, "She was going to tell the whole town and ruin my reputation and marriage, so I paid her to keep quiet." All of this was true, but I was never worried for any of that. I didn't want my bob to know that I slept with his ex because that is a tad weird, but it's too late now.

"How much is your silence worth." I ask frowning.

"God Bob, not everyone can be bought." he pause when he saw Magnolia's crown from Miss Magic Jesus.

"Well..." And that's how my bob and Patty won Miss Magic Jesus. Even though Stella Rose wasn't the best in bed, she was very rough which I liked. I wonder if my bob was just as rough.

I had insatiable need to one day figure out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm tired. Sorry