BLACKWOOD

Here I Am Again

Hello, Welcome!
To the town of Whelvery
Home to Blackwood forest
We hope your time here is pleasant

Ava always left secrets open for inspection.
It was easier that way.

Let the door hang half open to let in a little light into the dark room where hidden stories and truths sat. 

Her life had already been ripped apart and a part of her wanted to give up and spill every lie she ever made. But all she had to do was think of the investigation forcing her whole life open for the whole world to see. Anyone could find the reports if one knew where to look, and come to the decision that what her family lived through was sorrowful. And after weeks of homemade treats from neighbors did she really shut up.

But secrets were never guaranteed to remain safe, if a secret was let loose was it really still a secret?

No... she needed to be careful.

So Ava made rules.

When someone asked Ava for a slip of a secret she gave them openly and honestly... well only the parts she knew would give them the right idea of her. Keeping her reputation clear and her truth sealed.
At first she felt bile rise up every time she spoke to her mother or police, but now she was addicted to how perfect her lies were and it was hard stopping something you're really good at. She could stand up on her own. Play the part and smile. Guilt was close to nonexistence or numbed after all the months gone by.

But Relief was never there no matter how many times she told herself.

Because she knew that her biggest secret laid on two other shoulders. And no matter how much she asked or threatened she wasn't in control of them, she hated it. Not the people but the situation. She repeated this to herself every time she walked along the pavement to the repair shop where Hazel worked.

Hazel worked an hour before school and two hours after. So three hours in a day to meet her and act like everything was OK. To try and pick up the conversation they had last year. This meeting was the only life source they had kept for Hazel's sake .

Ava remembered the text she had gotten from a certain blocked number asking for Hazel's sake to always put in the effort for her rather than the disagreement they all had with each other. The first year was terrible, Ava had no urge to go to the place where she no longer belonged. But Ava was a good gift giver and she had been saving Hazels present for a while now even before the accident. She had the kindness to give Hazel the gift because she wanted to see the smile on her face when she opened it.

The smile indeed made the painful trip painless for 15 minutes and Ava was content with that. Ava never saw Emily there, she would arrive before or after Ava and Hazel never mentioned her so neither of them brought it up. As the years went by Ava had a harder time wondering what Hazel would want, so the past gifts were overly expressive ones that could not be returned nor disliked to the female gender. 

This yearly shame arrived with a bang. The once hot summer ended and school started up leaving Ava certain she could hold off on gift giving, then summer heat blew away replacing the town in a state of crisp fall weather. Ava had no gift. She wouldn't text Hazel for the sake of hurting her pride. So she did whatever she could to find out what her old friend would like. 

Instagram became a wonderful resource. Two weeks later Ava was confident in the purple covered gift. Going downtown presented a set of problems that were unavoidable. They knew her name, her story, and the life she now lived. Since she never came back when she moved, the sight of old buildings and faces scared her. No one ever made a big deal out of her visits, they knew the reasons.