My perspective

22|Here comes the bride

"How strange to dream of you even though I am wide awake."

--D.M ♡

"You are my blue crayon. The one I never have enough of, the one I use to color my sky."

--D.M ♡

"I think of you every chance I get. Because seeing you isn't enough. It'll never be enough."

--D.M ♡

I kept all the little letters he sends me in a box under my bed. I didn't write back, because if I did, I would be lying to him and myself. The letters would start to get longer and more affectionate as the wedding came closer. The wedding was on a sunday, so me and Draco both have school off. "Here are the invitations, show them to the guards at the front door." I instruct to Millie and Aria. "I'm so exited!" Millie gushed. "We'll be there." Aria smiles. I nod and walk out of the dorms, catching up to Draco. He takes my hand and leads me out of Hogwarts. We get off Hogwarts grounds and apparate to the Malfoy manor.

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"Ow! That's too tight!" I complain as my mother ties my hair up in a bun. She sprinkles little silver flakes in ny hair to match my dress. "Hold still." She says through gritted teeth. Narcissa has already done my makeup. My eyelids are practically blinding anyone who looks directly at my eyes. Silver sparkles cover my eyelids, along with sharp black eyeliner and my black eyelashes. I have a light pink tint to my lips and rosy cheeks. "There." She says, putting her hands on my shoulders, straightening my back. I take a look at myself in the mirror. I look like a glitter bomb exploded on me. And I loved it. I will be the sparkling ball in the dark dim walls of the manor. Me, my mother, and Narcissa all walk out of the dressing room. "Ready?" My father asks, sticking out his arm for me to take. I nod and we walk through the doors. The classic wedding music plays through my ears, making me nauseous. Everyone in their seats turns and look at me, some wincing when they see how bright I look. More than half of the people their are people I see at the meetings. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort himself showed up. I pass Millie and Aria, who are wearing matching black, lacey dresses. I look over to the front, where I see Draco standing, his eyes look wet and red. I finally get to the front, and walk up to stand infront of Draco. He's wearing a black, polished suit, with a matching silver tie to match my dress. "On behalf of Draco and Cassiopeia, I welcome you and thank you all for gathering here on this beautiful day..." the priest starts, who is (no surprise) one of my father's closest "business" friends. I stare at the ground, my heart beating a million times in just a few seconds. The room feels stuffy and hot, and the pairs of eyes are not helping me. "And do you, Cassiopeia, take Draco as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and cherish from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and health?" The priest suddenly turns to me. Did Draco already go? He actually said I do? This is actually happening? The whole room has eyes on me, and I open and close my mouth. Words failing to leave my mouth. I glance at my parents, who give me a stern look as if to say "don't mess this up." I turn back to Draco, who has a smile on his face. "I-i do." I say after a beat of silence. The room fills with cheers and laughter, but I tune them out. I'm too focused on Draco's soft lips on mine. I feel as though I'm melting, into a sad, useless puddle of sadness. Most brides would look back on this moment, feeling as though it was the best day of their lives. But I don't. Instead of feeling happy, I feel imprisoned, chained down. I feel defeated. I let them take control of me. I let them do whatever they wanted. He finally pulls away, his smile even larger than before. My lips are swollen and my eyes begin to sting with tears. Draco takes my hand, walking out of the room. Everyone else starts to leave, going to the next room where the food and music and talking will take place. 

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Everyone around me is talking, dancing, eating drinking. Having a good time. But I stand in the far corner of the food table, swishing the wine around in the glass I have in my hand. "Cass!" I hear Millie's voice over the loud music. "I can't believe it! My best friend is married!" She yells, almost strangling me in her hug. I chuckle awkwardly. Aria takes my hand. "Congratulations." She says in her usual soft, calm voice. "Ooh! Look at the cake!" Millie yells, running towards the dessert table. "Millie! Wait, you're not allowed to eat that!" Aria yells running after her. "Typical Millie." I giggle under my breath. "Cassiopeia." My aunt, Rose greets. Aunt Rose is a very intimidating woman. She stands tall, with perfect posture and her head held high. "Aunt Rose." I greet back. "It's about time you got married, though I have no idea what Cassandra was thinking, letting you wear that dress." She scrunches her nose in disgust. I remember when Cassian would call her constipated, her face always rock hard. "Well I like it-" I defend, looking at my sparkly silver shoes. An annoyed sigh leaves her mouth. "Atleast your not as much as a disappointment as your brother, he was absolutely horrible." She says, her voice dripping with poison. I hate my family. "Anyway, when will we be expecting children?" She questions. "Children?" I echo. Is she serious? I just got married and she's asking me about children? "You heard me girl, I do hope you know that your whole family is depending on you to carry on the pureblood legacy." She says in a sharp tone. "I-" my voice squeaks. So this is my life, everyone piling on responsibilities on me, I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this. "Cass." Draco says, putting an arm around my wait. "I've been looking for you." He turns to me as my aunt walks away. "Well, I've been here." I say with a pained smile. He suddenly bows, bringing my hand up to his mouth. His lips kiss my delicate hand. "Would you like to dance with me." My whole body screams no, run away. Run away and never come back. "Yes." I blurt out, and he leads me to the dance floor. There are many people already there, dancing with their loved ones. As we sway to the music, I think about what aunt Rose said. She is right, everyone is going to be expecting kids sooner or later. I mean, Bellatrix is married, and when no child came, people talked. But that never seemed to bother Bella, I mean, she's.....her. I wonder if she ever really loved her husband, Rodolphus. I wonder if he ever really loved her. But then agian, they're both crazed deatheaters, who murder muggleborns for fun. 

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Me and Draco dance until my legs couldn't hold me up. We stuffed our faces with cake, and I through my bouquet. (Millie cought it if you were wondering.) And soon, the house is quiet, no talking, no forks and plates clanging. Draco lays on my bed while I'm in my bathroom, changing. I wipe my makeup of my face, which takes a long time, specifically the glitter. I take out my hair from my tight bun, letting my dirty blonde curls flow down my shoulders. I put my hair to the side, when I realize: I can't unzip my dress. Oh fuck. I awkwardly step out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, where Draco is looking through my sketchbook. "Um- can you u-unzip my dress f-or me?" I ask, my cheeks turning red. He smirks and walks over, and I turn around. He carefully unzips my dress, the only noise in the room was my heavy, nervous breathing. He stops, and puts his hand on my bare back. "God you're beautiful." He says, spinning me around. "Thank you?" I say, my face flushing red.  His finger grazes my chin, making me look up at him. He dosen't say anything, he just admires me. His eyes scan every inch of my face. "I'll g-go finish cha-ngeing." I say pulling away from him. I turn around and head back into the bathroom, making sure the bathroom door is locked. I change into my white nightgown and stare at myself in the mirror. I sigh and unlock my door, laying down next to Draco in my bed. As soon as I lay down, he pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and tangling his legs in between mine. "Goodnight love." He whispers in my ear before turning the lights off. I lay there for a while. How did I become like this? How did I end up here? I try to think of the last time I was truly happy. And my mind comes out blank.