Mephisto's Anthology

Golden eyes

Glowing amber eyes that pierce my very being, halting my steps and leaving me gasping for air
With my heart racing within it's prison of bone, muscle and flesh
I retreat back ever so cowardly into the toxic dangerous yet comforting arms of my
"Loving" mistress
I am no addict
Yet I still find myself driven back to her and her vices
Ever craving her sweet poisonous kiss
Yet those eyes,those beautifully haunting eyes
That I sought to escape from never ceases to return each time even more taunting
Only once I gazed upon the owner of those glowing orbs , they stood shrouded in darkness their figure so elegantly placed and poised
I could almost make out a voice
Ever so distant and barely recognizable,yet I knew of it so simply
As it belonged to that which had called to me so often
The source of my torment

Who are you?

I can almost feel you looking over my shoulder
You're ear length hair that shines a color I cannot express nor perceive
Your solemn features that have me lost in thought
I only wish to know your name
Why of all angels,demons and gods
Did I see you
Did my desperate pandering alert you of my weakness?
Are you here to mock me?
Are you here to sow seeds of discord in my already broken mind?
I care not for your mission,let alone your goal because I still sit here in doubt of your very existence.
But even so because I do not fear you
I give you welcome permission to do as you please
So show yourself......
Please
Tell me who you are
Better yet show me

My tortured bones ache to know of you
Just as my gluttonous minds hungers for what you have to offer.
You Golden eyed beast, you have fully captured my attention
And I write this full of uncertainty of you
But also with devastating curiosity
Eyes of glowing gold that enrapture my soul.

To you I call to, you who stands so bewitchingly still, ever so tediously hidden in the shadows
Where you meticulously unravel what is left of my mind

I am terrified of what you could be, who you could be
But I have always been so foolishly masochistic
Ever so committed to destroying myself
And wallowing in self created misery.

So I shall await your response

Do not ignore me....... please
You've had me shaking and crying, begging for a mother I never knew
And yet to know much of
Just as I thought I was getting better
I descent so horribly back into the slum like pit
Of disingenuous behavior
Those who I love
Would be pushed away by my outburst
Leaving alone and isolated

Sniffling like a child
My tears do nothing but give life and water the now vigorously
Blooming nursery
Of Gardenia
Whose white, and pure beauty has been
Tainted by my venomous thoughts.

I owe you nothing, I don't even know who you are.

A/N
I've been having trouble sleeping as usual
But last night... Last night was strange
I've been seeing things
Feeling paranoid for days
I don't know
I wrote this more as a letter to whatever i thought I saw
That is all I can say
Please stay safe 🖤