Betty's Cardigan

The Battleships will Sink Beneath the Waves

Lorraine went to Betty's party.

Inez dragged her to it.

"You'll need it!" the other girl had insisted.

"It's Betty Brooks' party!" Lorraine had pleaded. "I can't show my face there."

"Believe me," Inez had said. "Sometimes all you need is the green light of forgiveness."

And so Lorraine had given in. Often, in the past few days, she had wondered how Betty had felt. She couldn't imagine talking to her and telling her what James had done. Lorraine hadn't known that they were together when James had led her on. 

So, at the party, she sought Betty out.

Betty Brooks was smiling brightly. Red cup in hand, she looked gorgeous. Adam stood shyly beside her. 

"Betty," Lorraine said as she tapped the girl's shoulder. "I think we should talk." 

If Betty had turned away and stormed off, Lorraine would have gone home. But Betty just sipped at her drink and nodded. She wasn't smiling anymore, neither was she angry. 

"I'm so freaking sorry," Lorraine said. She had thought about what Betty had gone through, but never had the chance to formulate an apology. Heck, she hadn't thought about apologizing until a few minutes back. When she spoke, she meant every word. "I wasn't aware that you and James were still together. I should have asked why he didn't want to be seen with me, but I was so enamored with him that I couldn't see past him. I am sorry that we hurt you, but know that I didn't mean it. I didn't want this to happen." Lorraine was holding back her tears but her voice trembled nonetheless. 

"Lorraine," Betty said softly. "I think I know that it wasn't completely your fault. God, I hate the fact that we are in this situation. I still feel bitter. Frankly, I would like to pour this drink down your dress and scream at you. But that's not gonna make me feel better." She closed her eyes and exhaled. "I can't say that I'm happy that you're here. Although I can tell you this - we might never be friends, but I will try my best to forgive you. It won't happen right away. I'm too messed up with this for that. But surely one day I will be able to look at you without seeing James's lips on yours."

"Thank you." Lorraine felt lighter. Maybe it was the candor in Betty's words, or the promise of forgiveness, but Lorraine felt her fractured heart heal just a bit.

"Till then," Adam interjected. "Why don't you help yourself to a drink."

Lorraine nodded and grabbed a red plastic cup from the counter nearby. Adam gave her a quick smile before he turned to talk to one of his friends on the football team. The quarterback's arms were around a pretty girl with delicate features. Lorraine felt a pang of jealousy at their ease. The girl, Dorothea, leant into her boyfriend so lovingly that Lorraine had to look away. She'd felt the same way about James, but he had clearly not reciprocated those feelings.

Betty had already started to chat with Dorothea when the knock resounded on the door. Lorraine felt a chill in the air even before the door had been opened. James Parker had crawled back to Betty. 

Lorraine reached for an open bottle of alcohol. She couldn't see the scene unfold without it. 

"But I dreamt of you all summer long."

The bottle slipped through Lorraine's fingers. She had been wrong. There was no way she could watch this. She pushed past the gathering crowd, and with tears flying she unlocked the back door. She ran into the driveway and started her car. 

Soon there was nothing but the open road in front. Lorraine couldn't believe it. James had been so, so cruel.

Lorraine had run because after everything, James had still held her heart in his hands. 

"What a shame I'm fucked in the head!" Lorraine laughed out hysterically. "What a shame I went mad!"

Her skin was crawling with flames, and she was burning up. She'd told James everything about herself. She'd believed his lies. Their love had been born from one single glance, all those months ago, at the Spring Dance, but it had died a million little times. For Lorraine, it was death by a thousand cuts.

Lorraine hit the gas and took her hands off the steering wheel. She felt the wind kiss her closed eyelids. She didn't have it in herself to go with grace.

Within a minute she was engulfed in a great explosion and Lorraine Willis would never have to think about James ever again.