The Leader Doesn't Know Everything

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Requested by @AchanSisstra and @RavenOfRao

warning: dangerous diets

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After quite a few years of Namjoon being in this business, he had come across his fair share of hate comments. He tried to not let them affect him. He tried to laugh them off most of the time. He tried to address them in their diss tracks. But occasionally, Namjoon would come across some that would actually hurt.

Ones that would actually hit home and make him wonder. Namjoon hated those ones the most.

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"all of them are good looking, except the tall one over on the right. he looks kinda weird"

> "i know right haha. i'm an army but nobody really likes him"

>> "whoa really?"

>>> "yeah, i like the one in the middle. taehyung."

>>>> "yoo how dare you say that nobody likes him??? i love namjoon!!"

>>>>> "yeah, real people appreciate namjoon. we don't need you in the fandom, so please get the fuck out"

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Namjoon nearly started to cry. Most of the comments were about his looks, his ability in dance and lacking English skills. For someone who prided himself on his English skills, he felt upset. He tried his best. Every single interview. Namjoon did try.

Maybe he should start working harder? His English would improve if he worked at it a bit more. His dancing would improve if he worked at it more. Maybe he would look a bit better if he lost weight?

The others didn't have to worry about this. They were loved. Namjoon needed to change himself.

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Late at his studio, on a warm Saturday night, Namjoon made up his mind. He was going to improve himself. He was going to have one big meal a day, as balanced as possible. Namjoon was going to practice dance for three hours, practice vocals and rap for two, study English for three hours, and make sure that he was there for the others as much as he could. He was the leader, he had to do this.

He made a long to-do list for himself. Namjoon wrote down what he was going to do at exactly what time. He was going to follow it exactly, and he knew that. Namjoon would force himself too.

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He got into the cycle quickly. Namjoon woke up as early as he could. He tried to drink lots of water so he wasn't as unhealthy as he usually was. Breakfast and dinner were easy to skip. Lunch, when all the others were there to eat together, wasn't possible to skip. Namjoon made sure to eat a lot then.

He tried to eat as little as he could at other times. He could lose more weight that way.

Not to mention, there wasn't a single day when Namjoon didn't workout. He went to the gym in the morning and stayed there until dance practice started. With only water to keep him going then, Namjoon was often light-headed and dizzy. But that was okay. All for a good cause.

He tried harder in dance practice. Even after all the others went home, Namjoon kept practicing. He tried his best in vocal practice. Namjoon was going to become the best rapper, he was going to be the best.

He couldn't sleep at night. Namjoon was so hungry that he was kept awake. His throat hurt from rapping all day, his body hurt from working out and dancing, his brain hurt from trying to study English, etc. Namjoon was exhausted.

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