When there's smoke there's fire.

I can see the smoke and I don't know why

Year-2049 / Month- October / Day-7

This so called "Natural Selection has already taken two billion lives, They say those with talent will live. They told me I'm a musical prodigy I'll be important in the new world. I fear for my wife, They say she's not needed! I love her she's my everything ( But is she really though?)...She'll be killed-executed. I don't know why we are killing our own people. Everything is worth something. All I can do is sit back and watch as people around me suffer...I suffer. My sister was quite a bland person living an everyday life. She would got to her office job, come home to her kids, make them dinner and eat around the table and then repeat the process. I was told she was killed with her children. "They weren't promising enough." is what they say to me when I get the news that my sister and her children were killed. They gave it to me in a extreme detail. "Ripped apart from her children arms she was crying and wailing struggling just so she could see her children before she died. They burnt her along with the house she lived in. Her screams of agony were traumatizing all she wanted to do was hold her children tight, They took her smoldered body and threw it on to the street when all was done they stepped on her the only thing recognizable on her was Annalise's beautiful purple eyes. One's that looked as stunning and dark as our mothers deep violet eyes. I wanted to cry when I saw the remains of my sister but I can't. 

They did much worse to the children. They say "If were going to kill them why not have some fun before we kill them?" The U.N used to be a good organization, But how would I know they say the last time they did something impactful was 1952. When the current leader of the U.N took power he seemed promising that he would bring the world to peace. That he would remove help with pollution, recover lands lost to global warming. He never once said he would create and plan to wipe six billion people off the earth. I want to sob I want to cry. But I can't I just can not bring myself to. I Just want to sit down with my family again.

Someone I know said something I found very 'impactful' before he was killed, he asked me if I ever questioned what the U.N was doing. I thought I had been the only one, why did no one else question why they were murdering-no that's not right executing the "unworthy ones" of course I questioned everything but what can I do I'm just a musician. I miss Antonio and his silly conspiracy theories he always knew how to make me laugh. He was killed due to conspiracy they said he was a threat to the 'new world'. I want to know what this 'new world' is and why it's so important to the government. I want to know why their lying to us and ripping our families apart. I want to know why I can't cry at the sight of death anymore. I was taking a small drive to the grocery store. I saw blue everything is always blue and I hate it. They chose such a despicable color for the city. I always hated blue but now I'm starting to console myself in the color. Because when I see red or green I know its fire or poison gas to kill homeless children. I never want to see red or green again. I want to cry at the sight of a child being burned alive or a child spitting its organs out one by one.  But I can never, It's like I've lost all my emotions. But I try to tell myself it's just shock.

The large intestine in always first, then it's the small intestine. They usually die after the large intestine comes out they spit and cough out blood it's disgusting it smells and I touched one once they feel slimy and grimy. But I can't bring myself to cry at the sight. By next year Six billion shall be killed and the new world will be born. The earth population will be down to five billion by next year. It will be different not to see full slums that look like they are from the year 1991. Those slums now have floors of red due to blood, It's funny to think in one I saw a child burnt next to his mother. His mother's puddle of blood formed a flower it was quite beautiful. I laughed at the sight.

I'm starting to think that I'm going insane. I'm scared of myself. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to live like this. I was thinking of killing myself maybe going out with a bang. I thought about this specifically though. 'I make a outstanding piano piece. I record it, I stream all over the web. I perform it on an keyboard live. I blow up the consort house and everyone in it including myself.' But I haven't done that yet I want to see how this new world will turnout. If I died like that I wouldn't even get on the Web, things like this happen everyday around the world. I crave attention. I would have to kill at least a hundred people to be acknowledged.

I wonder if my friends think like this too now? They were all chosen to live and to be 'essential to the new world.' So they must too right. You know what I'm probably going crazy. Music is barely keeping me sane these days. I tried consoling myself in "classical music" but it didn't help at all. To think people used to listen to that kind of stuff back in the day.

I want to get in contact with Matthew we always had the same kind of thoughts so I think I should hear his opinion, well that is if he isn't dead yet. Matthew never stood out he's a bland person like everyone else who's been killed- executed.(The only thing I would say that makes him a little different is that he has a fairly messed up mind and on the outside he's a super sweet person) Alfred would never let Matthew die though.. They probably share the same identify now. It shocks me that one could put themselves in danger to save another. I feel like I'm in dystopia and I'll never know if I like this feeling until I'm out of it.

But deep down I just want to laugh and smile with my family and friends again. Do you think others want the old world with unbiased suffering or the new world where everyone is supposed to be happy and perfect. Sometimes I think that the natural selection isn't a bad thing.....

Am I being brainwashed? I never remembered myself like this. Who am I?