Make It Home(August Alsina love story) [Editing]

Ch.12 [Pain is love]

⇧⇧Ja rule ft lil mo-I cry⇧⇧

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Ladarius

Everyday I been battling my mouth not to say shit to Kristina about what happened. But that shit is so difficult. I been helping with Jade a lot and I love my beautiful daughter. She is one of the first people I think about before I lay my head and when I wake in the morning. I really want to work on my relationship with Kristina. I mean I know a nigga has fucked up a lot but still I want another chance. This time around I wanna be the man she desires and dreams about. I love that girl to death and ain't trying to see her with nobody else and if that were to ever happen that nigga will come up missing. I love my girl and wanna do right by her by all means....

Kristina

Today was Jade's doctors appointment and unfortunately her father decided to take us. The doctor told us that Jade is healthy and her little butt weight's eleven pounds. She is one of the most energized babies I know. Ladarius has been home a lot lately and he tries to help a lot. His ass been acting weird lately like he always telling me I'm beautiful. He buys me flowers now and he always kissing on me. I know if you in a relationship you supposed to do all that but I don't like it cause this nigga scaring me. All of a sudden he so affectionate. Something ain't right and I'm going to find out What's going on. I was sitting down in the living room watching Lifetime when Ladarius came busting thru our bedroom door like a lunatic scaring me.

Ladarius: Whats up. what you been doing while I was gone?

Kristina: Watching TV and you only been gone three hours and you called twice.

Ladarius: I know I just wanted to make sure you was alright

Kristina: What's going on. You been acting real weird these last couple of weeks and I want to know why.

Ladarius: Kiss it's nothing.

Kristina: Your lying! I know When you lying to me.

Ladarius: Look baby Its nothing I just want you to know I'm here for you and Jade. I love y'all.

Kristina: Ladarius cut the shit and tell me what's up. You been walking around this damn house like national security for about a month now. Now tell me what's going on.

Ladarius: OK you really wanna know what's been wrong with me

Kristina: Yes! Tell me

Ladarius: Kiss we been together for four years. I know I been fucking up for most of that time but when you need me to be there for you Kristina. You gotta tell me.

Kristina: What the fuck is you talking about Ladarius?

Ladarius: You know what I'm talking about. Why didn't you tell me? Did'nt you know I would have protected you. That's my job as your man to protect you and my daughter from any and everything that tries to harm you. Why didn't you tell me?

Kristina:........

Ladarius: huh??

Kristina:What are you talking about?! I yelled frustrated

Ladarius: Kristina stop bullshitting me I know what them nigga did to you and you better tell me the truth!

Kristina: How? She asked as tears started to spill and her mouth slightly ajar.

Ladarius: Don't worry about that just know I know. No shit like that will ever happen again as long as I'm living. I'm sorry they did that. I don't want nobody hurting sombody I love. I did get them taken care of I said as I held her and let her cry in my chest.

Kristina: I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared I sobbed

Ladarius: Calm down baby it's okay. I ain't ever gonna second guess you I promise you. I really want us to work kristina. We been together to long to break up. Plus now you have my daughter and I can't see myself without you or her. I know I did and said a lot of shit that hurts you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about all the times I put my hands on you and calling you out your name and I know that shit wasn't right. That was some coward shit and I'll apologize to you for the rest of my life if I have to. I promise he said holding me tighter and kissing my forehead.

Kristina

I cried for hours into ladarius's chest until I soaked his shirt. I can't believe he found out. It hurt me to know him of all people knew what happened. I remember when it happened a year and a half ago. I was drugged but I still have flashes in my head of that night I wish I could erase them but I can't. I remember feeling like I was nothing a nobody. I used to be like if I ever got raped I'm going to the hospital and calling the police. Well it wasn't that easy. I felt ashamed and embarrassed so I didn't go No place. I just got in the tub and scrubbed my skin till I was about to bleed after that I got in bed and stayed there for weeks. It took a long time for me to heal physically but mentally my heart,body and soul will never heal. That day I lost a piece of me and I'll never get it back. My innocence was taking away right along with my dignity and pride. I stayed in bed for a month and the only person that helped me get through it was Trina. She helped me realize life is worth living after having a traumatizing experience. Ladarius never noticed cause he was always as always on business. I am truly blessed to have a friend like Trina. I  have been trying to keep this hid for so long and now it's out it makes me feel free of having a secret but the sorrow remains the same...

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