started with a dare | NORENMIN

16 | CONFLICTED

in under five minutes, jeno had managed to run all the way to a nearby park without looking back. out of all the places he could think of escaping to at the moment, he thought of the park.

he could've gone to jisung's room right upstairs, or go to mark and donghyuck's room that's in the same building. but instead, he decided to go to the park, out of all places.

immediately falling into the grass upon arrival, the brown haired male turned over to lay on his back, still breathing heavily from running from his dorm room and tears still building up.

usually, jeno's stamina would be really good, but considering that he ran down two flights of stairs and didn't stop until he reached this park about a mile and a half away from the dorms, there are bound to be some consequences for his choices.

as the breathing of the brown haired male began to steady, jeno looked up at the star-decorated sky and closed his eyes, inhaling the refreshing smell of nature surrounding him. despite living in the center of seoul, it did become peaceful and relaxing at times, especially at night.

but that wasn't the main reason why jeno was here. he didn't completely ruin his lungs and develop tears in his eyes only to come out here and relax, but for a completely different reason.

the image of the scene he has witnessed just before he went on his running spree was stamped into his brain, a detailed carving inside his skull of that exact moment.

the moment of renjun and jaemin kissing.

that was something that the brown haired male did not expect for him to walk into. in fact, he didn't even think of that scenario happening in his mind. the time he and jisung talked about it was hypothetical, but what he saw was very much real.

and unlike the dare he and jaemin were given or the accident he faced with renjun, the kiss between the brown haired boy's roommates was very much voluntary. expected. wanted. done willingly. if there was any other word that jeno could use to describe the tension between the two boys while they were kissing, the korean male would most definitely use it.

but he wasn't involved in the kiss. he wasn't jaemin or renjun, who were the ones who kissed. how would he know that both parties wanted that action to occur?

the fact that jaemin was leaning in towards renjun and how the chinese male was returning the kiss with just as much passion as the other brown haired male gave enough clues to tell.

all in all, the fake scenario that jisung had presented to jeno was now very much real. what once was a hypothetical situation that the light blue haired male placed the other male in to see his reaction became the reality, the reality that the brown haired boy very much didn't want to see happen.

if jeno had only stayed in jisung's dorm room for a minute longer, maybe he wouldn't have witnessed what he had. everything would've been fine because jeno wouldn't know about the kiss the two shared, and with that, he also wouldn't be feeling mixed emotions based on what he saw.

of course he was jealous, not at the fact that renjun and jaemin kissed, oddly enough, but at the idea that the chinese male returned the kiss of the other male, or maybe even was the one to initiate it in the first place. whereas with their accident, the red haired male seemed so relieved to have ended the kiss between the two of them so abruptly, almost as if he was thankful that jaemin has walked in and interrupted their moment.

with jealousy, he experienced the usual left out feeling that he's been feeling for a while now with anything relating to his two best friends. wanting to be included in whatever relationship the two were having at the moment made jeno feel upset that he wasn't included, which also caused the feeling of loneliness inside the brown haired male.

but on top of all that, jeno was feeling confused. he didn't experience any anger, any disdain, or anything else bad. the worst thing he was feeling was jealousy, but that was it, and this was what confused the korean male.

shouldn't witnessing his two friends kissing triggered some kind of anger inside him? shouldn't it have somehow made him mad? the worst thing he was feeling wasn't even sadness, and this just jumbled up jeno's emotions even further.

but wait. if the brown haired male wasn't feeling any kind of sadness, then why was he crying? the korean male wiped away the tears that began to fall from the boundaries of his lower eyelids and closed his eyes once more, trying to prevent any more tears from falling.

so maybe the worst that jeno is feeling isn't jealousy, but rather pain. pain of the whole situation with renjun willing kiss someone else. pain of seeing his crush kiss someone else as a whole. pain of having to hide in everything he is feeling and act like he's doing okay, even while renjun is ranting about jaemin like he was the only star in his life, for the sake of his secret not being exposed to everyone.

but even jeno knows that he has limits, and right now, it seems as if he's reached them.

it wasn't impossible; after all, the brown haired male had kept his crush a secret for a very long time now. but jeno didn't think that he could reach his limit for something like this. after all, he had gone for a long time dealing with his crush on his own, although he hadn't really done much with it.

there was always a first time for everything, and this may as well be jeno's first time testing his own patience and how much he can actually take. which turned out not to be much if the brown haired male is crying over something so little like this.

as a couple more tears fell from the boy's eyes, he wiped them away as if it were nothing, as if the brown haired male wasn't feeling the pain in his chest. jeno tried to distract himself by looking at the starry night sky, but it proved to be unsuccessful.

"jeno?" upon hearing his voice come from a direction toward his right, the said male sat up from his laying position and wiped away his tears as he turned to look at where the familiar voice came from. "why are you out here this late?"

and jeno lost the last amounts of self control he had as tears began to escape his eyelids like waterfalls while calling for the male. "d-doyoung hyung..."