I set off to find Luke. where in the world could he be? I could imagine a quiet place. Like a coffee shop...or somewhere outside. the park! obviously wow why didn't I think of that. stupid Alex.
"LUKE!" I shouted, hoping for a reply.
I waited a couple minutes
"LUKE! please answer!" I shouted. again, hoping for a reply.
no answer.
god dammit. stubborn boy. what did I ever do to him?
"LUKE! IT'S ALEX...." I quieted down, knowing its about 10 pm on a Sunday and people needed sleep. I know I do.
"Luke, I know you're around here." I said, searching through the park.
after 5 minutes, I gave up and sat at a nearby bench. I brought a bag with a couple things in it. thank god I had a sweatshirt.
I actually looked cute today. I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, blue and grey colored supras, a black tank top {now with a sweatshirt over it} then an obey hat. maybe it's because I actually tried to look cute.
anyways, I sat there for a good 10 minutes. hoping luke would unexpectedly come around.
nope.
I was way too tired to ride back to my house, by the way I live on my own...sorta. I get some help from the boys. and before you even say 'aw I feel bad for her, all by herself.' no, I'm happy this way. I'm still in contact with my parents, who live in America. so it's hard to keep contact but whatever. I'm fine.
so I just stay there, yawned a couple times. then used my bag as a pillow. and I just laid there. trying to fall asleep. shivering like a little chihuahua. yeah, I felt stupid...but relaxed at the same time.
I'm so disappointed I didn't find luke. it's almost like he purposely left me, like he knew I was calling him to help. I knew he left purposely.
I feel awesome.
alone, sad, scared, anxious, cold, nervous, but relaxed at the same time.
I somehow drifted off, into a nice dream.
I loved sleeping, it's the only time things don't fall apart. where everything right happens. amazing.
I was woken by someone. someone who sat at the end of the bench. I checked my phone, first of all. 2:45 a.m. who or what would wake a comfy, relaxed yet scared person in a nice sleep up this early?
I rubbed my eyes, clearing my vision.
it was Luke.
he was just staring.
staring at nothing. he looked lost. and scared. and confused.
oh boy.
"Luke?" I tiredly said, sitting up.
"what the hell? I WAS SLEEPING."
he just stared at me. I was now sitting up, facing him. we just stared at each other.
now I'm assuming you want a kiss, right? you want this all to end with a kiss? don't you? well, like I told you, this isn't your typical love story.
he broke the silence with tears. he didn't say anything, he just cried. it seemed like a cry for help, for a friend. a best friend.
I hugged him, for the very first time in years. it felt like forever when I was hugging him, like everything was gonna be alright. which it was, I think. for me it was. Kind of. I just felt like a whole piece of my life is missing or lost.
he just cried in my arms, not saying a word.
after 3 minutes, he sat up and told me these exact words "I'm lost, alone and scared."
was I right or was I right? he was lost and scared. I felt the same way.
we both felt the same way.
I casually changed the topic, I don't like getting all lovey dovey with Luke even though it's what I want.
anyways,
"Luke, where've you been?! I looked for you all freakin night and left me with no other choice but to stay here......I'm going home now." I got up and started walking until he grasped my waist and pulled it back, not in a cute way.
"Alex, look. it took me a lot of guts to just come over here and tell you I'm alive and in one piece, okay? so don't leave. I have to explain some things, i NEED someone to tell me it's gonna be okay, please. stay?"
stay.
that word echoed in my head.
stay.
a poem I wrote ages ago.
I wrote it for a reason, to tell myself to stay.
I've been left before, it hurts and I promised I'd never bail on someone like that. ever.
it goes a little something like this:
stay. they need you
over and over
they're lost
lost within their thoughts
should I stay? should I go?
stay. you never know
minds can be made up fast
it's like their lives were thrown of the track
their past is damaged.
they need you. stay. stay. stay.
cheesy? I think yes.
but I needed it. overall point is, no matter how messed up someone's life is, don't leave them it'd make things worse. they need someone there for them.
"fine, I'll stay." I said. calmly sitting back down.
he cried once more.
"so...what happened Luke. what did you get into this time?" I said.
"c'mon Alex, give me a break. I messed things up."
"messed what up?" I asked.
"everything. my life. well the people in it. I pushed them away. too fast. too easy."
I let out a sigh. shivered a lot.
"Hey, you're cold. here take my jacket." he wrapped it around me.
"C'mon, we're going home." I demanded.
my life is so f'd up right now. too much for me. I missed that carefree life.
"home?" he questioned.
"yes, with the boys. I dont care how freakin long this is gonna take but I swear we're all working this out. today." I said in all seriousness.
he just nodded and we walked home.
no, I'm definitely not ready to see where this all goes, but it needs to be fixed. now.
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okay, so this is my what? 3rd chapter? wow okay. I don't think anyone is reading my story so no feedback is cool too. so please, if you are reading it, give me feedback. it helps. if you don't like the story, comment and I'll change some things about it. xx :)
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Everything Has Changed
Fanfictionhi. my name is Alex. I live in Melbourne, Australia. No, I'm not here to tell you how my life has been changed from being depressed to happily ever after. I, in all honesty, don't believe in happily ever afters. I mean, it's so typical, so....fake...