im watching 5sos videos and ashton smiled at luke so i started crying,, i dont ship them i just love their smiles
i cant stop crying omg wh y
i sent my mom a link to see alec benjamin and she hasnt responded i dont think i can go but its worth a shot right? i have the money for my ticket but she wastes all her money on getting her nails done and going to get tanned so she cant afford it but i dont have my license and im afraid to drive to chicago by myself even tho ill probably get my license in august when im a legal adult
now bo burnham is playing and i freakin w h e e z e d because he is so goddamn funny why cant i meet him wHY AM I SO IN LOVE WITH ALL THESE ADULT MALES THAT DONT EVEN KNOW I EXIST
lilsimsie is streaming on twitch and i watched for a while but she was talking about animal crossing so i stopped cause ptsd man u dont even wanna know
no cap ashton is the best member of 5sos he is one sexy man
my stepdad just banged on my door to tell me thats hes leaving to get food but i thought i was home alone the entire time but i also havent left my room since 5 am and i really have to pee but my cats litter box is in there and i refuse to clean it because we dont have a scooper and i dont put my hands near anyones shit why does my cat have to have a working bowel system
my stomach hurts really bad and for a split second i thought i was pregnant but then i rememberd im lonely and no one talks to me besides my mother,, i was also in a fucking all girls program for eleven fucking months and my only guy friend dropped me back in april because i was "toxic" and "manipulative" before i went to my program bUT GUESS WHAT BITCH U WERE MY ONLY FRIEND AND I GOT BETTER WTF T R U S T M E I W A N T L O V E platonically i dont f u ck
imagine an elephant with no nose then what would it be? a fucking elephant with no nose u fucking numbnuts
my name isnt actually kenya but i wanted my username to have koolkid in it so i decided to put a fake name that begins with k because evERY KISS BEGINS WITH K
if u look at my instagram (which ull never find it) ull see shit posts of the most random things that i still laugh my ass off, for example,, "h" "grapes" "sporks" "leaves" ,,,,, i just fUCKING WHEEZED SO HARD THAT I PISSED MYSELF maybe i am pregnant,, and it IS baby JESUS
i still dont have a phone and my dad wont let me get one until feb bc they found dating sites on my apple account when in reality it was my ex because she wanted to accuse me of cheating,, i didnt but i think she did but its fine i dont need a relationship to be happy i just want a cuddle budy who will make me food and reassure my anxiety because im fucked up
im so fucking lonely i just want a friend but im not allowed on social media, not even on here but its not like my mom checks on me she thinks i sleep all day because i never leave my room
i dont want a bf or gf i just want a person that will make me smile i dont think i can commit to someone because of all my past fucked up relationships i just want a friend plz be my friend i need someone to talk to and my cousin is the one person who considers me a friend but i cant even talk to her because i dont have a phone and cant get on socials to talk to her but i really want to see her shes so nice and shes a changed person a year ago she refused to say pussy but now shes swears like a fucking sailor because her mom was very strict and shes finally finding her voice you fucking go ****y! I LOVE U PLZ TALK TO ME SOON I WANNA HANG OUT WE BOTH ALREADY HAD COVID ITS NOT LIKE WERE AT RISK ANYWAY well i might be i have a lot of fucking breathing probelms
if jasmine is reading this,,, i always knew it was you, its always been you
if tris is reading this, yes, i am platonically fucking u and jasmine
if max is reading this, nib nib whizzer (ull only get this if uve seen faslettos and if ur max)
if rachel is reading this, im sorry that i havent written i dont have stamps and im afraid to walk there because my town has a bunch of fucking pedos
if anyone else at my program is reading this i miss u guys but like nun of u know my wattpad and id be ashamed if u did theres so much unholy on here ud see me different,,, well, besides gabella
okay this is like 900 words so imma go hope u enjoyed my ranting/complaining/me being a little bitch
mk bai
